Isn't it funny how when you're young it was always about the food?

I hope everyone had a fantastic Turkey Day! I had the best Thanksgiving ever! Lets recap the events from last year shall we?

Last year at this time, I was the saddest girl you'd have ever known. My dad was in a hospital fighting a crippling case of depression. I say crippling because that's how it felt to me. Not being able to do something more for people you love is the worst pain of all. We sat in that hospital on Thanksgiving day and talked with him, I cried...Mom and Uncle Daddy talked to him. We went into the music room...something that was supposed to help my dad, he brought his guitar to pass the time. I remember very very clearly hearing the nurse tell all of the patients that David had brought his guitar to play for everyone. In a sterile room I sat and watched my dad play with my Uncle Daddy a bluegrass melody. I felt like I was suffocating. I wanted to drag him out of there and knock some sense in him. WHY was he playing for all these patients, why wasn't he home? Why was he acting like them? That's not my dad he's too strong for this. It was a heavy heart day. There are no ways to describe the hurt I felt that day.

Jump forward to this year:


I went home and enjoyed a fantastic meal with my Mims, and Dad. Stori and Kyle and Moo was there, as well as my Granny Carol, and a few other family members. I did think of Uncle Daddy and Gran, it was the first Thanksgiving we'd spent without Uncle Daddy, and the second without Gran. Not one single day goes by that they're not running through my mind. Still today was one of the happiest Thanksgiving's in a long time. We all had each other, and I danced in the sun room with my mom. It's a great day for thanks, and everyday I'm thanking God.

Dear Readers,

I feel like I'm never able to do this anymore. It bums me out because, I'm still able to get online and see all of the blogs that I enjoy reading on a daily basis. School has been so crazy and I'm just counting the days until I'm able to just to breathe. This is all the time I have I'm getting ready for ANOTHER class.

XOXO
Char-Marie

Life.

Well, I'm officially 23! I've actually made it to my twenty third birthday, not that I wasn't expecting to, its always nice to make it one more year. Some people think of getting old as such a sad thing. "Oh no! One more year has passed and I'm not where I feel like I should be in life.." There is only one way to fix that. Do something! I find every birthday better than the last. This has been my most favorite birthday yet!

Not because of gifts, but because of where I am in life. I never knew what would happen year after year, I knew what I wanted to happen. I do not think we're floating aimlessly in life, you have to help to guide yourself. This year I feel like a grown up...sorta. I say sorta because I'm still a child at heart. I definitely giggle at the wrong times, and I am known to be immature on a few occasions.

Anyways, this year I feel like I'm a grown up. I'm working with small children who pretty much think I'm it. I mean every single day I have a small child walking up to me telling me that I'm going to make a great teacher, and that they love me. That means more to me than some adult walking up to me saying you're doing good. I am a teacher at Wonders of Wildlife, and even though I thought I might puke when the bird hocked something up, I kept my composure and BS'd my way through it. I'm very close to finishing this semester and coming up on my last semester of student teaching. I'm also planning a wedding, and I'll have to admit it makes me want to throw up. It is very stressful, and even though I've been thinking about this day since I can remember it doesn't come close to actually sitting down and crunching numbers.

I feel very alive right now. I am the happiest I have ever been. I'm 23.

OOOoooo Ahhhhh

Isn't it beautiful?

Engaged

This is a day I will remember for the rest of my life! Today I woke up just like every other normal day and went to work. I'm sick and barely have a voice, I come home and the apartment is SO clean, Colby and Jacob cleaned from a little get together we had this weekend. Colby told me that I had 30 minutes to get ready because we're going to go eat at a little Italian restaurant that we love.
I remembered a funny story and I was trying to explain it using Colby's hands and he accidentally hit me in the eye.. It'll probably be a little bruised in the morning.. Anyways, my eyes start watering and I go and get dressed to eat dinner.

The whole time during the meal its like any other time we've gone to eat dinner together: talking, laughing, me spilling things- the usual. On the car ride home we turn down a different road, and I asked him where we were going. He told me that he really didn't want to start on his paper that he had to get done tonight, and I said, "Oh, so we're procrastinating are we?" He said that it wasn't procrastinating that he wanted to spend more time with me. So we started talking about getting married and how there was this little park we had in mind. We drove around the park three times, and then pulled into a little rose garden that was across the street from it. He told me that he wanted to pick a rose for me, but that I needed to stay in the car because I was sick. I sat in the car laughing at him, because roses shouldn't be on the vine this time of year. He looks and looks and looks, and I'm still laughing. He comes back to the car, and hands me this tiny red bud and I grabbed it and was like, "Wow, how did you find this? That's so odd." while I was examining the rose bud, Colby drops to his knee... keep in mind that I'm still in my seat belt- I look over really quick because I thought he fell down...

Then he proposed. I have the most beautiful vintage engagement ring ever. It was hand made 80 years ago....It screams my name- my wicked cool fiance did a fantastic job.

WoW School

Today was a big day for me. I woke up really early took my shower and threw on my Wonders of Wildlife polo shirt. I taught two classes today- all on my own. It was really exciting. For the most part most of the students listened really well, but my second class was by far the best class out of the two. During the first class when I was talking about the falcon that was on my arm he started making this weird hacking sound and out came a really nasty green ball of shit. Well it wasn't really shit, it was bones and fur- but it was disgusting and even I caught myself being like the kids saying, "ewww! What is that?" I had no problems with the snake, however, during the second program I reached in the bag to get him and I guess my nail poked him because he jumped and then I jumped. I thought he was for sure going to bite me. He didn't though, I lived to tell about it.

Somehow during the first class we got off on the subject of king cobras instead of king snakes. One little boy piped up and asked me, "Do king cobras have red eyes?" I got another question like, " What happens when a king snake meets a queen snake?"

Aww...

Love

Tonight Colby and I took out Stori, Kyle and Miss Magpie out to eat at TGIF. It was to be our last dinner together for a very long time. Stori and Kyle are moving to Fort Campbell, KY on this upcoming Friday. I was holding back tears all through dinner because I'm going to miss my sister, and Miss Magpie very very much. I'll miss Kyle too, and I'll pray everyday that he is safe. This is the very first time my sister and I will be separated. When we were younger we fought about everything, I would fight with her about the color of her hair if she'd allow it- she usually did. Since this past year we've both done a lot of growing up, my sister had a gorgeous baby girl, who happens to pee all over everything, and I am finishing up my last semester at school.

So I just wanted to say - Stori, you've really became one of my best friends and I'm so glad for that because we've seen how siblings can act, and I never want to end up like that. So here's to always looking out for each other no matter what anyone else had to say! I love you, and I'll always be here no matter what.

I have a few pictures of Miss Mag from last week when she stayed with me. I'll miss her soo much!

One Chicken Achee-nee Please.

So right now my world revolves around 20 Kindergartners that think I'm quite possibly the coolest think since sliced bread. Well, I do look like a mermaid and all. So what do I do when all of a sudden I'm blindsided by three kindergartners who are bound and determined to kiss me? This morning I was sitting down watching them sing their alphabet songs, and all of a sudden I'm tackled by three girls and kissed. Then one yells out, "HEY EVERYONE, I kissed Ms. _____." After that I was blown kisses all day. I am so exhausted. Today I was walking behind the line coming back from lunch and I feel like all I'm doing is saying, "HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK, BUBBLES IN YOUR MOUTHS!" They walk down the hallways like little monkeys!

Yesterday-

I got to play with them during center time, and I sat down at a table and ordered something from one of the students, and all of a sudden a hush fell over the crowd of germ infested children. Like, Is she really going to play with us? They were all so confused. I ordered Fettuccine with chicken, garlic bread with cheese, and an ice tea. The little girl looked at me and said, "Umm, we don't have achee-nee, we do have unsketi and a meatball though." I agreed to have 'unsketi and a meatball.

Week 2 still going strong.

I thought to myself How ironic for us to be doing a lesson on Germs. I have a few hanging out in my chest. Nice. I've been sick now for 2 weeks. Granted it's not near as bad as it has been, but I still have to blow my nose every 10 minutes and my chest feel like I have someone sitting on it all day. I've been trying to kick this now for a bit, and today when I had recess duty it was 40 degrees and it started raining- I'm sure that helped. I'm so tired, but (for your information Mims) I have been taking my flinstone vitamins every morning.

Sick.

Last Tuesday I stared working at a school near Springfield, and let me be the first to say that kids are GERM MAGNETS! I'm so sick. I've been sick for 4 days! Nothing is helping me, I've done Dayquil, Nyquil, Chloritabs, Actifed, Chloreseptic spray....I've taken them separately, together, and NOTHING works. *Warning: do not Drink chloreseptic spray from the bottle. I didn't think it would be a big deal until half the bottle was gone and I was walking around tipsy at work.

My nose hurts so bad, every 5 minutes I'm blowing it and its raw. I sound like I've been a smoker all of my life. Not the sexy raspy, the raspy where people say "Sir" when you get a phone call- assholes. When I cough my chest burns. Ehh. I'm whining, I know, but I know there's at least one person out there who can relate.

The second day of working at this school I brought home a painting from one of the kindergartners. The picture is of me, I have to tell you- it looks just like me. I'm a mermaid for starters, and I have fire red hair, purple sea shells, and a head band. I'm moving up in the world.

This is for you Mim.

So tonight I came home to an empty apartment. Colby, Corey, and Jake were surprising Mary Beth for her birthday. On the way home I called my mims, because that's what I do, and she convinced me to go to the grocery store and buy some food before I came home that way I didn't have to get out after dark. My family worries about me, and I've gotta say sometimes I worry about myself.

One night when I was home a large man tried to get into the apartment, I grabbed my trusty hammer and ran upstairs to sit on my bed. Eventually I fell asleep with the hammer in my hand....that's a story for a different time. I digress.

So I went to the grocery store and found all these great things I HAD to have, paid for them and lugged my goods into the dark, empty, lonely, cold....are you getting it....apartment. I cleaned the fridge and *yes mom* took the trash out AFTER dark! I know you're clutching your chest right now...its OK mom... Only two guys hollered at me, breathe easy.

After I made a delightful frozen dinner *healthy choice* I sat down on the couch to watch Monday night t.v which is very weird because I never watch t.v anymore. I sat there and flipped the channels for about 30 seconds before I realized I only have 5 channels- it wasn't just the same show on every channel. I got bored and decided to do some laundry, but soon decided I didn't like that either....Now I'm belting out my favorite tunes in my raspy *sick person* voice.

I'm tired, I'm cold, I'm sick, and I want my mom!

PG-13

Man, school is really kicking my butt. Yesterday I got off work at 5 p.m and fell asleep shortly after on the floor of the living room. I woke up 2 1/2 hours later to Colby telling me we had to go pick up his friends computer. I pulled myself off the floor with the help of a lazy boy recliner and headed up the bathroom, when I looked in the mirror I threw my hands up in the air,

"Colb, I can't come with you!"
"Why not?"
"Well...."

I walk out of the bathroom. Laughter ensues.

"I fell asleep on your jacket and I have a permanent imprint of the zipper down the right side of my face! Not only that, but It looks like I've got a button on the left side of my jaw."

"Oh Char-Marie, he won't care if you look that way."
"Well, I do care. I look like got in a fight with a Ginsu!"

So we travel across Springfield, and we step into this guys apartment. I am trying my best to keep my head cocked to the left so my hair falls over the zipper gash in my face. Then Colby introduces me.... "Hey, Nice to meet you. Disregard the crease in my face. I fell asleep on Colby's zipper." (I fell asleep on Colby's zipper? Uhh... you didn't just say that!)


Sometimes I feel like I need someone to screen my mouth...blah blah blah!

Another quick glimpse....

So I have a few minutes time to talk about myself for a bit. ;) This week has been hectic and its only the first day of classes this week. For starters I've already had a big assignment I turned in for today. I got a B on my paper from last week. I worked on it for about ehh...30 minutes, I was rushing because I have 20 more papers due. I guess I can't complain too much about a B.

I got my schedule for Wonders of Wildlife, I'll be teaching starting in 2 weeks. This Friday I have a quiz over my animals. I took a picture with Elvis, for the most part people don't really like it. The snake is really close to my face, and my sister's reaction was, "You're Effing Crazy!" The consensus has been a scrunched up face with a dropped open mouth. I feel awesome for actually caring around a king snake while I go through my daily routine. (It's not like I'm brushing my teeth with him.)

Thursday I am babysitting Moo overnight. That should be fun, the last time I babysat Moo I slept in baby pee all night. Hopefully she's straightened up her act and asks if she can go to the potty this time. I'll have her all day Friday and we're going to Barnes and Noble around 11:30ish....Come by and see us, we'll be there for a few hours. I'm always nervous about watching her, and lately she's been a real grump.....I might take her to the mall and put her on parade. --Hey Stori, she'll be great friends with Elvis, maybe she'll bring him home for show and tell.

In other news: This weekend we had a great time! Mary Beth came to see us for the weekend and we went and saw Jackass 2.....If you haven't seen it, PLEASE DO! It's way better than the first one. After we went to Jackass 2 we went bowling. We all had drinks, I had red beer (my dad got me started on it.) I actually won the first game with a 118! Which is freaking awesome for me considering I actually bowled an 11 once- With bumpers! The second game I lost horribly.....ehh

Wrapping up the week.

So today I went to Wonders of Wildlife and walked around with Elvis- the California king snake. I'm not as afraid of him as I had been. I think he's vibing with me now. Although today he did wrap himself around my arm again and I'm just really not OK with that.

Today I went home and watched the Mag Pie. She is getting so big, I'm afraid she may have inherited my booty. Poor baby.

Since I never get to sit down and write in this I'm just summarizing my week. I had my third check point on my huge unit plan. The teacher seemed to love it. I'm not sure if she liked it because it was really good, or because her family was in town and she was saying anything to get away from us. Either way I left feeling pretty damn good. And those of you who know about the "unit plan" know why.

Mary Beth is going to be in town tomorrow, so tonight we've cleaned and cleaned. I don't know about you all, but I feel so less stressed and more clear when everything is in order and not so cluttered. Now if only I could tackle my car....

Katie, when you get into town call me! Maybe if there's some miracle we could go get a drink or something. Linz, this goes for you as well. We can drink sparkling cider. ;)

Yesterday I felt really really sick, I think I'm just getting to the point where my body just wants to give out. I'm so tired all the time, I don't eat the way I should because I'm never anywhere to fix something good. I need a vacation.

wiggle while you work

So, I have 5 minutes before class starts and I had a quick second to sit down and write. I honestly feel like I have my head in the game as far as school goes. I love my Wonders of Wildlife internship....Although on Friday I had to hold "Elvis" the California King Snake. California definitely knows how to grow snakes.

Elvis and I are not considered "friends" I'm not fond of him, and I'm pretty sure he's not very fond of me. The whole reason I had to hold Elvis is because Arthur was shedding and he would bite me. So I get handed Elvis and my heart jumps into my throat because the whole time I've got him his tongue was flicking on my thumb and I just turned my head so I couldn't see him. I'd rather just feel the pain from him biting me than see the strike.

He was WAY TOO squirmy! Then he wrapped himself so tight around my left arm I thought I was going to pass out on the tile floor while he tried to eat my arm.

Any who.....I just had a little time to sit and chat.

Someone Once Told Me, "Life is Good."

Is it odd that I'm sitting in a sweater, wearing a sweatshirt, and sipping butterfinger hot chocolate that my gran got me, and alternating that with cranberry juice--- while listening to Christmas music. I'm in the spirit. I'm so ready for that time of year, because that means the school stuff I'm dealing with is about over, AND the fact that it's my very favorite time of the season helps a lot!

This year I'm truly hoping for a miracle. I want everyone who reads this post to say a little prayer for my dad, who's having a little difficulty dealing with some things. He is really falling back down into the depression, and with everything I have I want him to be better. I want him to love life, and the people who are in it. Throughout a lot my parents have been my rock, and I'm desperately trying to be his. I just need to know the way. I know one way or another I'll find it, and bring him back to where he needs to be, my dad once said the reason he was gifted with Stori and I were because we were going to do something great, and I believe him. My greatness will come when my dad is better and back to loving life.......because, isn't that what it's all about?

Running On Sugar Water, And The Possibility That I Might Really Make It Some Day.

So today I had my second checkpoint for the HUGE project I've been working on. My partner and I sat down to talk about what we had done with the teacher, and she absolutely tore it apart. I sat there listening to her rant and rave about how we didn't do anything and why weren't we doing this and this looks like a third grader done it.

Sometimes I wish I had never stepped foot into the education department. The stress is insane, and I feel like I'm treated like a first grader- at times. I wanted to scream and tell her that there aren't enough hours in the day to make this assignment "Perfect" instead I just let my eyes well up and started trying to hold back tears. She asked me if I had a job, and I barely got out-"Yes, I have two jobs." She looked at me and said, "I have a new found respect for you, you can go now."

I feel like all my time is devoted to this and I feel so strongly for the career I have chosen to take on, at times it is overwhelming, but eventually it will all be worth it.... It has to be.

Zonked.

I feel like I'm working 24-7 and I'm FREAKING BROKE! Uhh it's awful. I just wonder sometimes where it goes, because I never do anything, but drive back and forth....ohh yeah I drive! I'm living in my car. I'm so glad that it's dependable (knock on wood!)

My days are running together. It's all I can do to wake up in the morning and put a jump in my step. I am a walking zombie. I could literally sleep standing up, and have on a few occasions. The other night I had a moment of free time and Corey, Jake, and I were watching lost and Corey looked over at me- (Apparently I was starting off into space with this horrible look on my face) He asked if I was alright, and I blurted out something about the constitution. You see, I'm working on a 6 week unit plan teaching the constitution and Missouri Gov't to fourth graders and it's all I can think about.


If you're reading this and remember ANYTHING about how you were taught the constitution/gov't *a fun way* PLEASE- an ideas will help.

Just Another Day in the Life of Miss Marie

Every Friday morning I'm so excited to get out of bed and go to Wonders of Wildlife and see whats in store. This is how I want my career to be... I picked something I'd do for free, but I'll be getting paid for it so it will seem like I've never worked a day in my life.... Right? I hope that's how I feel once I start teaching. I'm so excited about teaching the second grade students about the life cycle at Wonders of Wildlife. I'll be teaching all by myself! Kinda scary, I'm learning all kinds of cool animal facts, and this morning I spent most of my time with Arthur the speckled king snake. He seems to be pretty well mannered. As long as he doesn't bite me we'll be friends.

Today I worked on crating the animals, and learned how to crate Arthur. This was kinda scary for me, because I have to put him in a pillow case, tie a knot in it, set it down inside an insulated lunch box, and when it's time for me to take him back out I have to unwrap the pillow case and stick my hand into a bag and pull him out! I'm really really nervous about doing this in front of a lot of second graders.....if he bites me I'm dropping him and running- Good luck to all the second graders..huh.

Such is life.

Oy! Thursdays are such long days for me! I'm at school from 8 in the morning to almost 7 in the evening, it's such a long time to be roaming around campus with an eighty pound bag on your back. Cheap Date Night Thursdays are no longer existent, I rarely see Colby- only in passing usually. Even when we're both home we have different things to do and he's usually in the basement working on homework, and I'm upstairs doing the same thing. I hate it. It really just bums me out, I have absolutely no free time, and the tiny bit I have isn't when he does....I guess that's life. I guess I can stick this out for one more semester. Until then, I probably won't post as much, I don't think the teachers believe in having jobs and paying for college. The professors pile on as much homework as they possibly can to take away every ounce of your time.