Playing catch up.

Finding time to sit down and write about life when life is happening all around me is becoming increasingly difficult.

Since I last posted about Emery's birthday, another birthday happened! Cecilia Grace was born May 17th, 2013. We are totally in love. It has been such a crazy transition, but we're all pushing through it and it's getting better every day.

Cecilia Grace:  May 17th, 2013 born at 2:41 p.m, weighing 7lbs 6.5 oz (only 1 oz smaller than Emery) 19in long -although, a couple days later at a weight check Celia measured 21 in long.  I don't think that they had her stretched out all the way in the hospital. She has the most perfect features and the most ridiculous head of brunette hair, I adore it.

Just an hour old. 

Life as we know it around the Jennings' household has changed. In the hospital after I had Cecilia and family went home and I had time to think I had a mini panic attack. I was absolutely exhausted from the events leading up to this beautiful girl's arrival and the baby in the room next to us was screaming and I absolutely lost it. I was worried I couldn't take care of two babies, I missed the little boy at home who didn't really understand all that was going on, and the hospital staff really sucked. Breastfeeding was hard, harder than I remembered, and the lactation consultant kept telling me "breast is best".

The first man you'll ever love.

Colby was doing the best he could to convince me that I was just exhausted and to get some sleep, but Cecilia wouldn't sleep and therefore, I couldn't sleep. By the time it was all said and done I had been up more than 36 hours and was at my absolute breaking point. At one point during the day I was in the bathroom shower sitting in the corner vomiting and bawling all at the same time. Thank God for mom's. My mom came the next morning and sat with me in that bathroom and talked me off the proverbial ledge.

First family photo. Your brother looks concerned. 

When we left that hospital and the apathetic nurses and came home that next day I felt so much better. I was so uncomfortable in the hospital. I needed to have my own space, food, bed, and comfort. I came home and ate an entire container of watermelon and we made it through our first night at home fairly well. Colby's parents took Emery for the weekend so we could focus on trying to sleep. Turns out, this little girl is nothing like her big brother when it came to sleeping. She actually likes to sleep. I needed this- I deserve this. Emery woke up at least every 2 hours until he was 14 months old. Cecilia lets me get in the occasional 4 hour stretch and just the other day at 7 weeks old she let me sleep from 10:30-5:15 in the morning!!

This is what mommy looks like after a whirlwind labor. 

Right now sweet baby Cecilia is sleeping in her swing and big brother is asleep in his room while I take time out to recall things that have happened these past 7 weeks. I won't type out the birth story tonight, but that will come soon. Right now I'm just enjoying my sweet little family of four and feeling more confident that I am capable of juggling two babies and still maintaining part of myself in the process. Motherhood is the hardest job I've ever had, but it's also been the best job I've ever had.

Thanks for picking me to be your mommy.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Emery Jack!

Dear Emery,

I cannot believe that my little baby is no longer "2 and 3 quarters", but is a three year old big boy. As we're approaching your sister's birthday I cannot believe we're getting ready to start this journey all over again with a new little one. You are certainly excited about baby Cecilia's arrival and talk about holding her and kissing her all the time.

We had your birthday party on April 20th, 2013 a Saturday and all of your family and friends were there. You had a Jake and the Neverland Pirates birthday party and you were SO excited about it. The month leading up to April you woke up everyday and asked me what day it was and if it was "your April" yet. Then, when April came around you wanted to know what day it was because you knew that your birthday was April 24th.

There were so many people and fun, we BBQ'd and had a picnic out in our backyard. Daddy and I bought you a sand and water table for your birthday this year equipped with an umbrella to keep you in the shade and you, Maggie, Macee, and Cooper played in the sand and water all afternoon. Eventually you ended up with sandy mud all over your face thanks to your cousins.

Playing in your sand table with Cooper, Mag, and Macee.

Your pirate ship birthday cake. :)

Mommy had a massive melt down a few hours
before your party because it needed to be "perfect". I sometimes set super goals for myself and need to learn that you will have fun no matter what regardless of whether the streamers are hanging up where they need to be or not. I'm working on being more laid back. I think I'll always be working on that. It hit me hard that this would be your last birthday as an only child and next year we'll be planning a 4th birthday along with a 1st birthday and the thought of that is a little overwhelming at times.

That night, after your party was over, we had a scare and had to take you to the emergency room because you had a rectal prolapse. I have never been so scared in my life. We had no idea what was going on and even though you didn't seem to be in any pain I was terrified that something was horribly wrong with you. Your daddy did a good job of trying to calm me down, but I know that he was really worried about you too. I was crying and even you were looking up at me and reassuring me that it was going to be "alright, Mama" "We'll take you to the 'hopital' for a check-up." It broke my heart that I was the grown up and you were trying to take care of me. I'm totally in love with you. You are the best boy in the world.

The ER doctors told us we "lucked out" in the kid department.
They thought you were amazing.

We sat in the ER for 3 hours, but it seemed like an eternity and both sets of Nana's and Papa's showed up to keep us calm. They stayed with us until we were reassured that although this was pretty rare (only happens in 10% of children) that they
thought you would be fine and told us the steps to take if it happened again. I went to bed that night sobbing to your Dad that I wanted to put you in a bubble and keep anything bad from ever happening to your or your little sister. If I could stay with you your entire life and be your "shield" I would gladly do that and take any ounce of pain that might come your way, but I know that those are life lessons, and changing moments in peoples lives.

At the movies!

On the Wednesday that was your actual birthday daddy and I woke you up and took pictures of you before you were even awake in your room. This has sort of become a tradition. Then, we took you into the kitchen where I had made you pancakes with sprinkles and a candle. We sang you Happy Birthday and let you make a wish. Daddy had to go to work, but you and I made a day of it. First, we went to the theater and saw The Croods, we were the only two people in the theater and we sat really close so we could see all the action. You ate an ENTIRE movie theater sized hot dog with the bun, popcorn, and we drank lemonade. I had the most amazing time watching you watch the movie. You loved it. When daddy came home we went to Yogurtini, the frozen yogurt place by our home and had frozen yogurt with Uncle Jake and Aunt Gina.

You have grown into the best 3 year old I know and I cannot wait to see what this year holds for you. You are precious beyond words and I love you to the moon and back!

Did I ever mention that your definition of being "big" is being able to reach the Sixlets (candy on the high shelf) and being able to ride the school bus? I can't wait to see what you think being "big" is next year.


Love,

Mama

Gearing up.

I recently read an essay that a woman wrote about her first pregnancy and the things we forget about being a new mom.

"Can I see this little one?" said a smiling voice at my shoulder. I turned around so that the older woman behind me could peek at the tiny creature nestled against my poop-stained shirt. She sighed, looked deep into my bloodshot eyes, and asked, "Aren't you just on cloud nine?"

I can remember people saying these type of things to me and feeling torn up because the response I wanted to give was, "No. Is that how I'm supposed to feel because right now I'm absolutely exhausted all he does is cry and eat and no one can help me feed him because he absolutely refuses to take a bottle. So, No, I'm not on cloud nine....Not even close." Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved Emery with all of my heart, but being a first time mom was not "fun" like most people try to portray. 

I can remember feeling SO alone. At the time we had just moved back to Missouri with a 2 week old baby and didn't have a place of our own yet because we were waiting to hear from a few jobs until we decided we were staying in Missouri. When Emery was about 2 1/2 months old we finally settled on a job and were able to get our own place. That helped in a sense that if Emery was up all night crying, which happened a lot,  the only people it was bothering was myself and my husband. 

For many other reasons I still felt quite alone. Being a stay at home mom for the first year of Emery's life was the hardest job I had ever had in my life. My husband had something close to his dream job and was getting to interact with people all day long and I was at home, rarely getting to take a shower or have a moment to myself. When my husband would come home and tell me about his day and what he accomplished I thought to myself I didn't even get laundry done or I'm still in the clothes I was wearing yesterday. 

I didn't have anything interesting to say to my husband the only things in my repertoire were poop habits, if Emery took a nap, or what he had for lunch... 

Now I'm faced with going through this a second time, but a few things are different this time. I now know what to expect bringing home a newborn. I threw away my rose colored glasses. I have a toddler to chase after in edition to being at Cecilia's beckon call. We do have our own place and a stable job going into this. I am staying home with my children this time around not because we moved too late in the hiring season to find an elementary teaching job for myself, but because we've decided that this is the best route for our family. 

I'm hoping that given what I know about bringing home a baby that I will be able to move through this transition with more fluidity. I do know that I have a soon to be 3 year old little boy that doesn't need to see his mommy break down because his world is going to be turned upside down. I also feel like whether or not the first time was symptoms of PPD or just the newness and adjustment of being a new mother I am not afraid to ask for help. 

I am self admittedly too hard on myself. I have for some reason or another felt the need to be this "perfect mom" someone who feels like her kids need to be on their best behavior all the time and I realize that it's too much. It's hard for me to release control and go with the flow because I feel like I need to have a handle on what's going on in my life. I used to feel like I was such an easy going person and that if you needed someone that was pretty laid back, I was your girl. I would be lying if I said that today. 

Children do something to you. For nine months you carry them with you and are able to keep them safe and dictate their every movements. Then, in the blink of an eye your baby is out in the world and it's like your heart is on the outside of your body wandering around. It's a very scary feeling. 

With all of this being said, I am very excited for this next chapter in our lives. Although Emery was a very fussy baby, he is a wonderful toddler, so very loving. I cannot imagine my life without him. I know Cecilia will be a wonderful addition to our family as well. 

I'll leave a link to the essay I read that brought back so many memories that I hadn't completely forgotten yet.

http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/04/before-i-forget-what-nobody-remembers-about-new-motherhood/274981/

Sweet dreams.

Last night around 11:00 Emery woke up pretty upset, in fact, I'm not even sure he had gone to sleep yet. I went in to try and soothe him and it was no use. He kept asking me to sleep in "daddy's bed" and every time I asked him why he thought he needed to he responded with, "Because I'm crying."

It's been quite  awhile since he's felt like he needed to sleep with us, although ever now and then before he gets into his own bed he asks if he can sleep in our bed and when we say 'no' he is perfectly content with that answer. Last night was the exception.

Emery asked for his daddy to come in and give him a hug and as soon as he saw Colby he started crying harder and asking, "Can I sleep in your bed?" Colby is a sucker for this and as I kept nudging him to tell him 'no' he would nudge me back because he was ready to cave. Eventually,  he ended up in our bed with the understanding that this was the ONLY night he could sleep with us and that tomorrow he had to be a big boy and sleep in his own big boy bed. Ha.

Colby carried him into our room and laid him next to me and as soon as he hit the bed his arms were around my neck telling me, "You're the best mommy. You're the best mom. We are best buddies." I have to admit it was super sweet. It reminds me how far we've come. He's not that squalling baby laying between us anymore. He's a boy, a very sweet, manipulative boy.

We laid in bed for a good 20 minutes talking with him and asking him why he had been so upset. First, he told me that he was upset because of the smoke detector in his room. Recently he's noticed this foreign thing on his ceiling and is convinced that it makes him sick, even though we continually tell him that it's there to keep him safe.

At one point in the conversation he rolled over and looked at me with his hands on each side of my face and said, "I had a problem, it was an emergency. I was sad because I was worried about you." I told him that little boys shouldn't have to worry about their parents and it was our job to worry about him. He replies, "Mom, I'm a big boy it is my job."

Excuse me, when did this happen? When did that little blob that cried all the time, never gave me any feedback as to what was wrong with him, or why he insisted on being up half the night, decide to grow up? Talk about tugging at the heart strings.

I went to bed so absolutely content with my life. I was very thankful that my husband was a sucker for Emery's late night antics.

Pregnancy thus far...35/35

Today marks the 35th week of pregnancy, which also means on paper I have 35 days left as well. We all know that is a fluke and Cecilia could make her debut whenever she feels like it. There have been several things different about this pregnancy than there were with my pregnancy with Emery.

1. When I was pregnant with Emery I was sick for 3 months straight (morning, noon, and night). With this pregnancy, however, it wasn't nearly as tough on me. I was still sick, but I had some medicine that seemed to help out a bit. 
2. Last time I didn't have a toddler to chase after all day long. After work I could just come home and put my feet up. Not so with this pregnancy, although I love it.
3. My body has been MUCH more achy this pregnancy. I feel like an old lady and the pressure is HORRIBLE. 
4. I feel much bigger this time around than I did with Emery (pretty sure it has something to do with all the biscuit and gravy cravings from McDonald's...)
5. My skin early on and even in the second trimester has been a lot worse this time. With Emery my skin was flawless.... Cecilia has taken that away from me this pregnancy. It's much better now that we're in the 3rd trimester though. 

I'm feeling much more prepared this go around knowing what to expect. It also helps to have our own place and not to be moving half-way across the country after this baby is born. *Sigh of relief.

Colby just accepted a new job within the Art Department right where he wants to be. I'm extremely happy for him and for our family because that means that we'll get to stick around for quite awhile here with our families. It also means HOUSE HUNTING!

We've both been so excited looking online for a house, but its so scary at the same time!

Things are falling into place. :)

Filling in the gaps. Almost 36 months!

Dear Emery Jack,

Here we are just 16 days before your third birthday and so much has happened since I've last posted, imagine that.

Christmas happened and that was really exciting. You were so excited when you woke up from your "big boy bed", yes you're sleeping in your own big boy bed and we haven't had a single problem since we switched you over in January, we made sure that we had the camera ready when you walked into the living room. You barely finished opening one present before you were asking, "What's next?!" After all the presents were open (Leap pad 2, art easel, lots of dinosaurs) your favorite thing was a $3.00 squishy angry bird that we put in your stocking. We lost it in the wrapping paper mess and you almost had a melt down while we were searching through the endless paper for it. We did find it and it's still something that you insist on going to bed with every night.

Another wonderful thing we found out right before Christmas was that you were going to be getting a little SISTER! It was such a shock to your dad and me because there hasn't been a little girl born on daddy's side for 70+ years. I was particularly excited because I've always called you my favorite boy and the thought of not getting to say it anymore kind of made me sad. So, now I have a favorite boy and a favorite girl! It's been quite the adjustment in our household all of the sweet little pink things floating about. You are so sweet and so excited to meet your baby sister and you tell us all the time that you love her and that she can share "Monnie" your blanket. Her name will be Cecilia Grace.

Here's how we told you:


Highlights:

• You are now potty trained and have been since February. We started working on this in January and you are doing amazing! NO MORE DIAPERS!! 
• You sleep in your own bed and you do incredibly well. 
• You know all of your colors, letters (even some lowercase), and your numbers to 10. You even know how to write the letters: I, H, J, X, O, V, Y, U. 

Funny/ Sweet things you've said: 

• You walked out of the bathroom about a month ago and were clearly having an issue pulling up your pants and when I came to help you you told me, "Sometimes things are Wonderfully Complicated."
• I love you mama. That's because you're beautiful. 
• Don't ever ever let me go. 
• You're my bestest friend in the WHOLE WORLD. (except it sounds like wuld)
• Catastrophe! 
• Awww come on, I was only kidding!
• Good-bye World. (When the sun was going down on one of our drives you started bawling and saying, "Good-bye, world!" I explained to you that just because the sun was going down didn't mean the world was ending. 
• Mama, do you know I love you?
• I missed your sweet hugs and your sweet kiss.

This past Saturday, April 6th your Uncle Jake and Aunt Gina got married! You looked absolutely adorable in your tux dressed just like your handsome daddy. You wanted to dance with all the "Beautiful Ladies" and I'm pretty sure the feeling was mutual. :)

In a couple of weeks we are going to be celebrating your birthday with a Jake and the Neverland Pirate party. I can't wait! You are super excited and we mailed out the invitations today. This is the last birthday you'll have with it just being just the three of us. Next year at this time we'll be planning a 4 year old birthday and a 1 year old birthday- I cannot believe it.

Daddy and I love you so much Emery Jack! You are the brightest, best boy we know and we cannot wait to see what the future holds for you. 

Love, 

Mama

Emery Jack is 2 1/2!! Month 30.

Dear Emery Jack,



Today you are 2 1/2 years old. Time flies my love. You are spending a few days at your Nana and Papaw Jennings' house. I can't actually hug you and give you love today, but I am absolutely sending sweet vibes your way. I told your Nana this morning to give you a 2 1/2 birthday kiss from me.

You are the absolute light of my life and I cannot imagine not having your sweet face around. I am always so happy to come into your room in the morning to snuggle you when you wake up and listen to your "dreams" you had that night. Your most recent dream that you told me about was walking to the park with Nana and reading books, "LOTS of books". It amazes me that at 2.5 you are sharing with me the dreams you had the night before. Now, whether they're truly dreams or just imagination working overtime we'll never know, but either way it's pretty great.

You don't look thrilled, but I promise you love it!

My not so cowardly lion :)

This past month we went to a party thrown for your Great Gma Dot. Everyone got to dress up in costume and you dressed up as Mickey Mouse. You absolutely fell in love with the outfit when I took you to party city to decided on a costume. You decided early on that you wanted to be a pumpkin, but when you saw that it was possible for you to be Mickey Mouse you were sold. It is a very cute costume, it has ears, gloves, and a body suit. You are obsessed with the gloves, I even caught you eating your Cheez-its with your gloves on. A friend of ours also gave you a costume that her little boy grew out of it's a lion. It is adorable! You tried it on a few days ago and it's been really warm for this late in October you were sweating and I told you we needed to take it off. You had HUGE tears and said, "Please don't take it off!" So you wore it for a few more minutes. :)

Lots of family on Nana Cookie's side.

I love you to the moon and back!


Love,

Mommy

Month 29

Dear Emery Jack,


This past month has been a crazy one. I cannot believe we're adding to the family and I must admit when I first found out that I was pregnant I was so happy, but a little piece of me was worried that you might feel like you were being left out. I never EVER want you to feel like you are less than amazing. You are the best thing that ever happened to your dad and I. Now we're just adding another amazing person to our brood :)

A few days ago we were driving in the car with the windows down and you heard a little kid outside, you immediately yelled, "I hear the baby everybodies!" You also think that you have a baby in your belly which makes me laugh.

The sweetest kid I know. 

Another thing we tried this past month was gymnastics. You absolutely loved it, but since I've not been feeling well and we had been doing so much swimming we opted out of gymnastics until we slow down a little. I promise that we'll soon get you into another program where you can jump to your hearts desire, "like Superman" as you would say. There are going to be so many doctor bills coming up and we just made the executive decision to wait until next Fall to begin something like that. By then you'll be able to grasp the concept a little better and know that there are more things to it than bouncing, even though bouncing is why I like it too.

Sitting on your "spot" waiting patiently for your turn. 

"Look Mama I bouncing!"

I'll leave you with a few things you've said to me this past month:

• I went to get you in the morning after hearing you talking in your room this is what you told me, "Mama I was crying. (You were? Why were you crying?) Cause a 'pider was talking to me. A 'cary one. (A scary spider was talking to you? Was he nice?) Yaaaassss."
• "Thank you for sharing your apple juice with me. It makes me happy."
• "Welcome to Sodor!"
• "No spider, NO don't kickle (tickle) me!" -- This one had me worried.
• "I'm gonna save the day!"

There are, I'm sure, many more, but these stood out to me. 

I love you to the moon and back!

Love,

Mama

Month 28- A little late...

Dear Emery Jack,

I'm going to quit explaining why I'm always late writing these posts... I've come to the conclusion that I'll always be late :)

The past month has been a great one! You are such a talker. You would talk our ears off if we let you--- most of the time you do. You are becoming so curious to how things work and how your actions effect things. The fact that I'm able to stay home with you still blows my mind because your daddy and I never thought one of us would be able to stay home with you. When I'm around you so often I don't think I notice the changes as much as your grandparents might.

The past month you have grown up so much so that when I give you kisses after a nap or first thing in the morning you tell me, "No, Mama don't kiss me." or "No, Mama don't hug me." When did you become a teenager? Still, you always ask me to kiss your booboos if you get hurt and they normally make things all better.

Another crazy thing that happened this month was when daddy came home one night right before it was time for dinner and was hugging you and playing with you. When dinner was ready daddy picked you up off of his lap and somehow your little elbow popped out of place. We had no idea why you were crying- daddy wasn't rough with you and he didn't hear anything pop. We were so worried about you. I had to go get a scarf I had and wrapped it around your little body to hold your arm close to your it. We left the house immediately both of us feeling sick about it, our poor little baby was in so much pain and you kept asking me to kiss it. When we got to the hospital we kept having to explain what happened and eventually they decided it was your elbow (apparently it is extremely common in kids from 2 to 4 it's called Nursemaid's Elbow) You had to have x-rays and I couldn't go in with you so daddy took you in and I could hear you screaming all the way out in the hallway where I was sitting. I so much hate to hear my baby cry, especially when you're in pain. It was a really rough day, but really rough on your daddy, so I had to be the strong one and try to console both of my boys. After, we got the x-rays back they confirmed it was your elbow and the nurse began to try to pop your arm back in place. It broke our hearts. You were screaming and then you said something that broke my heart and made me laugh inside as well. You told the nurse as she was trying to pop your arm back into place to, "Don't bite your friends." This is something that we've been telling you to make sure you're being a nice boy and I think you decided that since she was hurting you and you weren't sure why to 'not bite her friends'.  As soon as she had it in place you immediately started using it again and acted like you had never been in pain. You were a whole new boy! After we were done your Uncle Jake and Gina met us at the hospital and we went to dinner because our dinner was sitting on the kitchen table untouched.

Another new thing this month is lack of sleep. You have decided that you do not want to go to bed and you cry and cry and scream for us to hold you. It absolutely kills me to hear you. I normally put you to bed after we read a few books then I go take a shower so I don't have to hear you so upset. You were pretty sick a few weeks ago and you slept in our bed for three or four days. Now, you think you need to be with us all the time. If you were a sound sleeper and didn't roll and kick all through the night I may have considered it, but NO ONE sleeps when you're in our bed. I am going to switch your bed into a toddler bed and pray that this makes you want to sleep in your own bed. 

You've also started trying to use the potty more. I've been a little lax on making you go on the potty, but when you ask to go then we're in there right away! You have pooped on the potty the past few days. I have been giving you iced animal crackers with sprinkles if you go on the potty. You call them "Happy Birthday Crackers." *but it sounds like- (Happy dirday tackers)

One more thing before I close this letter to you... Your daddy and I love you very much, we think you are an amazing little boy and we know you're going to make an amazing big brother. You are going to have a sibling in May and the thought scares the hell out of me, but I know our love will grow. There are going to be so many things you'll be able to teach your new little brother or sister and I know you'll be wonderful in that role. You told me about a month ago that you wanted to have a little brother then said, "That would be fun, huh?!" 

It's definitely going to be a crazy ride, but we'll all get through it together and we'll have another precious baby for it. 

Love, 

Mama

Month 25, 26, 27.

Dear Emery Jack,

I've been lacking on my timing and I hate that because I don't want to miss writing down anything that has happened in the past few months, but at the same time I'm too busy living what's going on to take time out to write about it. :) I'll try to sum up our past few months.

I've already blogged about May and June (we went to California in June) so I'll begin with July.

July was a great month! You've been getting so big and continue to amaze your daddy and I daily. For the fourth of July we went to Aurora to spend it with Nana, Papa, Giddy, Maggie, Macee, Uncle Kyle, and Sissy(Aunt Stori). We went to our friends house in the country and had a wonderful BBQ at Charley and Britney's. You had fun playing with all of Brayden's cars and chasing around all the other kids at the house. When it started getting dark outside we decided we'd try out fireworks. I knew you weren't going to be thrilled because Uncle Jake, Gina, you, and I went to see some fireworks in Republic earlier in the week and you squeezed me so hard and made me put my hands over your ears. For a brief moment I had you convinced that they were not scary and that in fact they were Angry Birds flying through the sky. It only fooled you long enough for you to point at them and laugh nervously before you buried your head in my arm pit.

So, needless to say, you spent the evening clinging to me and saying, "Go bye-bye." over and over. At one point in the night I stood up and let go of you and you were stuck to me like a little spider monkey. It was time to go :).

That next weekend we spent with the Jennings' side of your family. It was a pool party and you had such a great time. We played all afternoon in the pool and you were so wore out, but insisted it was time to go back in the pool.

Swimming lessons at the OCC

July also marked your first swimming lessons at the Ozark Community Center here in Ozark where we moved to. You went for two weeks M-TH from 11:00-11:30. You have really worked hard for Chelsea our swim instructor, but were very polite when you didn't want to put your face in the water telling her, "No thank you." She was impressed by how polite you were. We finished swim lessons two days ago and you've been asking about swimming every day since then. We did buy a family pass for the year at the OCC so we'll be swimming all year round since it's a heated indoor pool! Your daddy got to see you swim this past week since he's done with work and you were so excited. We took you in the lazy river to work on your arm strokes and you said, as you were flailing your arms, "Look daddy I FWIMMIN!" You were so proud of yourself!

Yes Love, you're number 1. 

Today is Maggie's birthday party she turned six years old yesterday. I cannot believe that your Aunt Stori has a six year old. What's harder to believe is that when you are six years old Maggie will be 10! Time goes by far too quickly.

Emery Jack, I love you to the moon and back!

Love,

Mommy

Happy 2nd Birthday to my Love.

Dear Emery Jack,

The past month has been a crazy one. We've managed to have your birthday party, I finished my last official day as a teacher, although I feel like I'll always be a teacher at heart and I'll always be teaching you.

We started off your birthday by singing as I got you up to go to daycare. I was devastated to
drop you off because I didn't want to be away from you on your birthday. I took you to the grocery store early so we could have  doughnut holes and buy some treats to take to daycare so it could be a "special" day. You got to bring apples and watermelon. Miss Sharon said you all loved it. When I picked you up from daycare I asked you if you had a great birthday and you said, "YEAH!" We walked out of the daycare singing Happy Birthday. We went home and I made Rigatoni for dinner and your Nana, Papa, and Giddy came to dinner that night. Uncle Kyle, Aunt Stori, Maggie, and Macee came too. That night we all played in the backyard throwing the football and playing with the bouncy balls and bubbles. It was a wonderful day for your daddy and I because you were so happy. We love to see you laugh, you make us So incredibly happy and proud.

The following Saturday we had a train birthday party for you. You were so excited to get to open all of your gifts. All day long you were singing "Happy to you, Happy to YOU!" It is so wonderful to see you smile and be so happy. Your big gifts this year were things to ride on. We got your a cozy truck to drive around. You like to put your angry birds in the back with your trains and drive around the house. You also got a tricycle from Aunt Stori that you love to drive around. Your feet don't reach the pedals, but you still love to scoot yourself around the house.

You are getting so big. This past month you've been singing "Twinkle, Twinkle", The ABC's when you get to QRS you skip to Y and Z. When I first heard you sing it by yourself I almost cried, when did you became such a big kid? You love to play with your angry birds and sometimes I worry that when you get older you'll think anything that isn't electronic is boring. I've cut you back on your technology for that reason, but also because I like to play with you and sometimes when you're playing those games you tune everything else out including your mommy.

Our lives are about to change immensley due to the fact that you'll be getting to stay home with me and I'm opening my own business. I hope this shows you that you can do anything. I went to school to be a teacher and since I've had you my eyes opened up to the parent side of teaching. It's a little disheartening and I want to spend as much time with you as possible. I also will be working from home and it's a huge leap of faith to go into business for yourself, but with the support of your daddy I know we'll be just fine.



I love you to the moon and back, Emery.

LOVE,

Mommy

My 2 year old!

Dear Emery Jack,

A lot has happened since my sweet little boy has turned two. We had a wonderful birthday party, which I know I blogged about, but it's not here....weird. We had a great birthday party complete with lots of trains and cars and tractors. You LOVE riding your "bikes". So many people were at your birthday party to share the excitement with you. You sat at the table in a big boy chair and were SO excited when you saw your "Happy Cake" You love when people sing happy birthday, in fact, you will just break out into "Happy Birthday" while we're at restaurants or driving in the car. You like to sing it to ever person you can remember ever meeting- Including the cat.

You are such a wonderful little boy and bring so much happiness into our lives. Thinking of our lives without you seem so dull and boring in comparison to what we were missing. We are so in love with you. You are so sensitive to others and get very worried if you think someone is upset or hurt. You ask "Better Mama?" over and over again until I tell you I'm ok, even if I wasn't upset to begin with. You are very in tune to people's tones in their voice. For instance in the car while driving now, I cannot be frustrated with other drivers like I used to. If I say anything with any tone other than my normal tone you get upset and ask me if I'm better. I now have to tell people their crazy drivers with a smile on my face.  You're doing a great job of making me be a better person. I consciously have to think about how I conduct myself every second of my life when I'm with you, it shouldn't be any other way, but I realize that's why some moms go nuts. Sometimes you need to be allowed to be frustrated. :)

When you turned 25 months old we moved to Ozark, MO and live about 5 duplexes down from your Uncle Jake and Gina. You did very good with the move and I'm so glad because at first you couldn't understand why we weren't going home. I kept having to take you to your bedroom and explain to you that we are home, these are your things. You also had your very last day of daycare with all of your friends: Ayden, Jorja, and Ethan. You ask about them still and get our your play cell phone and call them up every once and a while just to chat. I have a picture of all four of you hanging on our refrigerator so we can talk about them when we have dinner. I struggled with the thought of taking you out of daycare because these were the first friends you had ever made and I was taking you away from everything you knew. You seem to be doing ok though. Maybe this will come back to haunt me when you're a teenager and you look back on your blossoming social life :). I hope not.

We recently went on our first vacation as a family to Los Angeles, California. The Jennings' side of the family packed up to see your GG and Uncle Daron because he has cancer and doesn't want to be far from his doctors. So we brought the party to his doorstep :)

You did AMAZING. Such a trooper you were. You turned 26 months old the first full day were were there. We went to the beach and you got buried up to your armpits by Uncle Jake and Uncle Matt. You even helped them by packing sand around yourself. You loved it! The memories we continue to make with you every day I delicately fold away and put in my pocket to keep with me always.

I picked you up from your Sissy's house the other night after dad and I had a date night out and you looked at me and said, "Mama, I so happy to see you!" You melt my heart.

I love you so very much!

Love,

Mama

23 Months

Dear Emery Jack,

Once again this is a little late, but I've been saving some sweet stories for you from month 23. I cannot believe that in a few short weeks you will be 2 years old. When I was pregnant I thought that 9 months dragged on, when you were born I thought I'd never make it through the first year, and here we are at year two and I now feel like they're flying by.

You amaze me in so many ways each day you're doing something new. This past month you put together short little sentences that melt my heart. Leaving daycare you tell me, "I love you, Mama." I remember waiting so patiently to hear the word Mama and now getting to hear it all the time...words cannot describe.

I am so proud of the little boy you've become. There are a lot of things that I feel I'm doing just OK at, but I feel like we're doing something right with our sweet little almost two year old. When someone sneezes you say, "Bless you." When you are given something you always say, "Thank you." When you're in trouble for something and we ask you to go to your room and sit until you've got it under control you walk into your room, sometimes stomp, and sit down until you're feeling better and then come out and grace us with your presence.

I've always said that when I have children that I want people to want them to come around and not dread seeing them because they cannot control themselves. You have made that a reality. I don't think anyone would cringe at the thought of you coming to see them. You really are a great kid.

Yesterday we had a bbq for daddy's birthday and to celebrate Easter. There were so many people here and you had such a great time hunting eggs with your cousins Maggie and Macee. Here are a few pictures of this weekend and of last month as well. Happy Easter, Love.

Love,

Mommy

22 Months.

Dear Emery,

Yesterday you turned 22 months old! In a blink of an eye you became a toddler, complete with the meltdowns, and silly personality. I would have a hard time denying that you're my son because you and I are a lot alike :) (Daddy is so lucky!)

This past month has been full of all kinds of new changes and opportunities. Your daddy has had five interviews in the past month and next week we should be hearing back from 4 of the schools. One school, Missouri State University, has already given us an offer, but we're waiting to see what the best deal will be before we decide on anything. I hope someday that we'll be able to put down roots somewhere so you'll be able to keep your friends and have some stability. Your daddy and I have been gypsies since we were in college. It's a fun lifestyle to have always moving around, seeing new things, traveling has always been something your dad and I have in common.

This past month has come with little changes in you as well. It's hard to pinpoint now when these things start happening, but now we're able to talk to you and receive an answer. The other day when I was driving you home from daycare you asked about daddy and I told you he was at work. You replied, "Ok." which came out as "O-Day". When you see family photos now you're not only able to pick out mommy and daddy, but a couple of nights ago you were able to point to yourself and say, "Emy!" Your dad and I looked at each other with huge grins, we are SO very proud of you.

Last weekend we were making breakfast and you were in your high chair and daddy dropped something and said, "Shit" and then we heard this sweet little voice mocking him saying, "shit, shit." Our mouths fell open. We knew this day would come. We just didn't know how soon. Our tiny little guy is growing up. When did this happen?!

You recently got your first pet, if you don't count the goldfish and the day when we had two dogs for a night. We have a cat who we lovingly refer to as "June Carter". We rescued her from the humane society and you love her!! You call her "Meow" and this morning were tormenting her with a stuffed mouse. She tries to hide and you follow her into her cat house. It took your daddy 10 years, but he was able to get me to say yes to a cat. Hell has frozen over. :)

One minute I'm carrying you in a baby bjorn while you're snoozing through Target and the next I'm pushing you in the cart each of us Starbucks in hand. Time flies when you're having fun, Emery.

Emery Jack I love you to pieces.

Love,

Mama

19/20/21 Months.

Dear Emery Jack,

These past few months have been very crazy so lets start from where we left off. The last post I had

written was in November and Here it is almost February, where has the time gone? I suppose this is what happens when you're older and I used to think it was because

when you get older you began to forget things, but I think what they really mean when they say things like, where has the time gone or time flies is that your life becomes so much more rich and fulfilled that there is almost no time to sit and write about life when you're out living it.

Thanksgiving has obviously came and went and it was a great time. You spend Thanksgiving day at your Nana and Papa Cochrane's house fussing with your cousins Maggie and Macee. There seems to be a little decent among the ranks now that you're a little older and Macee still thinks she's the baby. You two fight like brother and sister. The following Saturday was

spent at your Nana and Papaw Jennings' house just like always you demanded your nana's attention and refused to get out of the kitchen. You are becoming so very head strong.

December was a fun time and a very very sad time. We spent the 23rd in Butler at your Great Grandma and Grandpa Welsh's house where you got to see all of your 2nd cousins. You and Aerowyn had a screaming match to see who could be the loudest, Aerowyn won hands down. You got a puppy that makes noise that you can walk on a leash that your grandpa went out to wal-mart and bought for you. This is a big deal considering the dog's leash was pink and purple, just seeing the picture in my mind of your great grandpa walking through Wal-mart carrying that thing makes me laugh. The entire drive home the dog was barking and whining in the back seat of his pick-up.

Christmas Eve was spent at Nana and Papa Cochrane's we had a wonderful time and you were SO excited to get to open presents. The entire time we were there you were walking around to all of the presents and people yelling, "RIP IT RIP IT" which actually came out sounding like "RIBBIT RIBBIT". You had a blast!!

Christmas Day was spent at our house just the three of us. We woke up early (I woke up early) and did everything in my power to keep quiet up until the moment I started banging pots and pans around in the kitchen because the suspense was killing me. I thought for sure you'd get up early since we had been traveling so much and your schedule was off, but you slept in until 8:00. As soon as I heard you start to stir I ran in yelling "SANTA WAS HERE!!! Merry Christmas!!" Before anything else we were on the floor cell phones in hand to capture the moment. We got you started on the first present because you were still in a sleep induced haze, but you caught on pretty quickly. As soon as you'd finish open one you'd point for us to hand you another while yelling, "RIBBIT RIBBIT!!". Your favorite gift was the Thomas the Train toys we got you. You are absolutely obsessed and we are definitely enabling this addiction. During the day you have to have a train in each hand at all times. I have even gotten you out of your crib in the morning to find you holding on to one of your trains wondering how in the world you got that. In the car we have to watch Thomas while holding Thomas and sometimes wearing Thomas. Hopefully this is a phase :).

Christmas night was spent in Butler at your Nana and Papaw Jennings' house where we got to see your great grandma and grandpa Jennings' from San Antonio. The last time they had seen you was the Christmas before and you have changed so very much. You were still very fascinated with your Great Grandpa Ron he had a voice that could quiet a room. During this time we were able to get a four generation picture at your Great Grandpa Ron's request. It was wonderful.

On December 29th, 2011 early in the morning your Great Grandpa Jennings went out to walk his dog Riley after flying back to San Antonio and never made it home. Your Great Grandma Jean found him lying on the sidewalk Riley at his side. We are so saddened by this Emery Jack, but so very grateful that he was able to meet you. He was a wonderful man and it isn't the same without him. He was laid to rest in Kansas City, Mo on Friday, January 13th, 2012.

Tomorrow is a very important day for our family as well. This week your daddy has been receiving injections to increase his stem cell production so that he can donate this to a woman that he doesn't even know. A woman who is very sick and needed someone who matched her bone marrow type. I am so proud of your dad. Some days I look at our life and think, "What did I do to deserve this kind of happiness?" People can look their entire lives for what we have. I hope that we can pass this love of life, and what it holds, on to you.

Life is a very funny thing Emery and every day we are reminded that the reason life is so precious is the fact that it doesn't last forever, that we can be taken away in a heart beat. My hopes and prayers for you are that you live your life to the fullest and that you make the most of every moment you have. Know that we love you so very much, son.

Love,

Mama

18+ months.

Dear Emery Jack,

I feel so guilty for not having this post written right away. There were many times that I thought about it this past month, but every time I sit down to write, life happens. I cannot believe that my tiny little baby that I brought home from the hospital in his sweet little blue striped tiger pants is a year and a half already. Where does the time go? When you get older you'll see what I mean.

There are so many new things you've brightened our days with. You recently had your 2nd Halloween, but this time you were able to trick-or-treat and get candy. I only let you have a few suckers, but those suckers were the best things EVER in your eyes. You dressed as Elmo this year and you were the cutest Elmo EVER!

October was a very crazy month in our household. I had parent teacher conferences and it was SO stressful. There are so many times I wonder if going back to work was the best thing for our family. Yes, you're doing great at daycare, but there are some days that you'd rather have your mommy and even more days where your mommy would rather have you. I feel extremely guilty for leaving you each morning and going to a class full of children that half the time would rather be anywhere, but the classroom. I don't blame the kids, but the families are a whole different story. Most of these kids do not have support from their parents OR they let their children run the house and tell them what to do, which makes my job extremely difficult.

I love you to pieces Emery and that's why dad and I decided that this may not be my niche. I went into teaching thinking I would make a big difference, but I'm not sure all the time away from my family is making that difference. It's very disheartening. This is a job that you can't necessarily leave at the door. There are a lot of nights that I come home with a heavy heart, but you and your daddy lift me up as soon as I see your face.

You have started to be very snugly. Every time I pick you up from daycare you run to me with your hands in the air and lay your head on my shoulder. Sometimes you even pat me on the back. I am so in love with you.

You are really working on your words and have a couple favorite words that you throw around daily: NO, nine, "melmo"- Elmo, Momma, Daddy, TRACTOR! This one you say over and over when we're in the car and you see anything on wheels. :)

You are the silliest little guy I know and everyone that comes in contact with you loves you. When we go out to dinner you wave at everyone and tell them Hi. When people stand up to leave you tell them bye.

I love you to the moon and back.

Love,

Mama

17 Months

Dear Emery Jack,

It has been a crazy month obviously since we're 11 days into October, and I'm just getting around to 17 months! You are such a handsome, smart little man! I know I say it every month, but you really change so much every single day.

I picked you up at daycare a few days ago and you immediately ran to me, put your hands up for me to pick you up, and kissed me. Then, you blew a kiss to all of the girls in your classroom and pointed to the door, as if to say, "Let's get out of here mom. I have places to be!"

We have been spending countless nights looking at your baby board books working on animal sounds. You are getting SO good at them!

You know:

Cat- "NooW"

Cow-"muuu muu"

Lion, Tigers, and Bears- "Graaaaarr"

Owls- "ooo oooo"

Baby Chicks- "cheep cheeep"

Monkey- "ahh ahh ahh"

Aunt Stori- "ahh ahh ahh"

I love you to the moon and back Emery.

Love,

Mama

16 Months

Dear Emery Jack,

I have officially started my new job at Ash Grove teaching third grade. I have to say that as much as I was ready to have a job and get out of the house a little, I miss you so terribly much. Some days I have breakdowns and daddy has to reassure me that I'm doing the right thing. I know that we both needed this, and you absolutely LOVE your daycare, but some days I wonder why I'm taking time away from my own baby to stay with 18 other kids. I know the answer to this question, It's because some of these kids get all the attention and love from school not from home. As sad as it is Emery Jack, not all parents take care of, or love their children as much as your dad and I love you. You are such a lucky boy! We are very lucky parents.

This month has been full of changes! You started daycare full-time and so far we've been doing great with that. I started work this month and then a week after I went to work it was your dad's turn. We have settled, for the most part, into our new schedules.

You are really working hard on saying words and some new words that popped out this month were: Meow which sounds like Noooowwww, Hi which sounds like Hiiieeeeee and you put anything you can to your ear and talk into it like a cell phone, E is what you call all of your foam letters for the bath, You have really been saying daddy lately and it sounds like daDEE.

You are also quite the imitator. We have a dvd in our cabinet at home and you always look for the Wild Kingdom DVD with the Cheetah and Gorilla on the front, then you point to the cheetah and growl and point to the gorilla and bounce up and down doing monkey noises. You are such a silly boy.

You have started teething again and earlier this month you finally got your 6th tooth so you're even again. You have 4 on top and 2 on bottom, but you're getting 2 more right now and you have been a cranky boy lately.

Your Aunt Stori got you a tractor that is a power wheel and you push a button on the steering wheel to make it go, you LOVE IT! You've just started to get into riding on things and this tractor blows bubbles while you drive, which is something else that you're very much into right now.

Last month we got you some fish because we took back the puppies we thought we needed and apparently giving back the dogs was a good decision because we've successfully killed all of your fish. :( We bought 4 more fish and 4 days later we have 1 fish, 1 snail, 1 shrimp and a sucker fish. At least dad and I have managed to keep you up and going. :)

Emery Jack every day we love you so much more than the last. I cannot wait to see what then next year brings us!

We love you to the MOOOON and back!

Love,

Mama

15 Months Old!

Dear Emery Jack,

You have hit a milestone, 15 months old today that is CRAZY! I know I say this with every month's post, but you really are growing at a crazy speed. Next Wednesday we will be going for your 15 month check up at the doctor and seeing how much you've grown, I'm sure it's a lot. You somewhere within the last few weeks have transformed from a sweet little baby to a very independent toddler.

You are obsessed with your shoes, I think because you know that when you have them on you get to go places, so you bring them to me at least 5 times a day to wear them. I tease with you and put them on my toes and you point to them and start talking. "Mom, cut the crap these are my shoes and I'd appreciate it if you'd put them where they belong so we can get on with our day."

You've discovered that peek-a-boo is a game that can be played endlessly and still be as surprising as the first time. "Oh, you're still behind your hands? Mom, you are a riot!"

This month your dad and I lost our minds and went crazy for less than 24 hours when we decided to get you not one, but two puppies! It was exciting at first, but later when we were trying to keep an eye on 3 toddlers we decided that we were not ready for this crazy change and took your "sisters" back that very next morning, as early as we could. That mistake won't be made again for a very long time.

Instead, we decided to get you a fish tank and it has been so much fun watching you walk up to the fish tank and wave at the fish that we've named Thomas, Kipper, Nina, and Star- All the names of your favorite cartoon characters. :) These fish don't cry at night or potty on the floor, so I'd say they were a good investment.

This month also marked the first night EVER that you were away from your Mommy. For your Great-Grandpa's 70th Birthday your dad and I flew to Sedona, Arizona for three days and were away from you from Thursday morning to Sunday morning. I was SO sad the entire time we were away from you. And the night before we left I had a small anxiety attack for having to leave you for so long. I wanted to you to understand that we didn't leave for good and was so worried that you wouldn't take it very well. You did fabulous though! You stayed with your Aunt Stori and Cousin's Maggie and Macee. You had so much fun swimming and going to garage sales and probably eating things that I normally wouldn't allow.... that you weren't worried that mom and dad haven't been around for 3 days. You were very glad to see us that Sunday morning that we came back, and I cannot even begin to tell you how happy we were to see you! The trip was good for dad and I, but we would have preferred that you be there with us.

That week I told you that you couldn't mess with the bookshelf at our house, and you replied with a "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!" while you were pointing at me and shaking your finger. I tried really hard not to laugh, but it was so funny. Miss Sharon at daycare also said that she could tell you had spent the weekend with older kids, because you were being very assertive. Oy! The terrible two's are right around the corner.

That very next weekend you went to Butler with your dad to see your Great Grandma who had just been let out of the hospital after a surgery, and I stayed home to have a yard sale that we had been planning for quite awhile. Dad came home early on Saturday and you got to stay an extra night with your Grandma and Grandpa Jennings because they really wanted to have you for one night by themselves. You had a great time.

I cannot believe that we're already in the sleep over stages. You are growing too fast Emery and I need you to slow down just a little bit :)

I love you to the MOON and Back!

Love,

Mama

(You were so happy to have us home. You fell asleep on my lap, and later watched daddy play angry birds. :) )