The Not So Itsy Bitsy Spider....

I almost dislocated my shoulder trying to get away from a spider tonight. I was working on my resume and out of the corner of my eye I see the arm of the couch moving, but as I straighten my spectacles I realize that it's not the couch, its a freaking HUGE spider. Ladies and Gentlemen this spider had to be the size of a quarter....well..thats big to me, and it was headed right for my arm. I let out a scream that probably woke the neighbors and Colby jumped up, "What's wrong, What's Wrong....?!"

"Ahhh....GET IT, it's huge....SHIT, shit shit shit....."
"Ohh Honey, that's not huge, it's a baby!"
"GET IT, GEEEEEEEEETTTT ITTTTT! HURRY IT'S Moving! *insert panicked scream here* HURRY it's trying to hide!"

In walks my superhero boyfriend, 'Colby the Right Hand of Justice', and annihilates the evil 8 legged creep with one crash of..... the box that held our called in dinner.