Message For My Guardian Angel:

It has been a very stressful week/day and it's only Tuesday. I called home today to find out how everything was going and talked to my dad for about ten minutes. He was still in bed, but contemplating getting up. I told him he needed to get up because it was such a nice day and with this Missouri weather we're having who knows when it could start pouring. He told me that he would and that was the end of our conversation.

Later on I received a call from my mom, about our computer, and how dad couldn't find something on it. I told them where I thought it was, and then later called them back. My dad had a "little" nervous breakdown and I'm not really sure why.....Was it the computer, was it life....Only he knows. It's really hard to see him going through all of this. I feel sometimes like I'm having to be a parent to him, and it's so overwhelming. I'm so worried about him, will he ever get out of this hole that he's sitting in? I love my dad more than life itself, and I love my mom for sticking with him every step of the way. I have the best family in the whole wide world, I just wish we could go back to how we were. Dad always working or messing with something around the house, Mom always running back and forth between house stuff, yard work, fish pond, dogs... Stori and I coming in and out of the house. Everyone was happy. It seems like anymore all the phone calls made are consisting of, "How's dad? Is it a good day or a bad day?"

Lately they've been bad days. More bad...Less good. I know that we have angels watching over us, I definitely believe in guardian angels. I'm asking right now for mine to watch over my dad, because he needs it more than I do. I just want him better so bad. I want my old dad, the one who's always joking, always smiling, always eating ice cream.....I need him to come back, because it's sad without him.

Umm Hi....Hello......

So i'm sitting in a computer lab trying to get things done before class when this girl comes by and just about knocks me out of my chair! She just plowed her way through. EHHH! I wanted to throw my hands up and say, "Ummm Hello......Yeah Hi, I'm actually sitting at this computer, so could you please charge your way though that aisle." She about knocked the glasses off my face!


So yeah, i'm still procrastinating. I don't know how i'm going to get all the homework done, I work every day! Last night I had a minor melt down, but Colby was there to say we'd get it done. What a wicked cool boyfriend I have.

Summertime and the Livin' is Easy!

Wheeeew...............I'm SO STUFFED! I made enchiladas tonight! I'm becoming a regular Betty. I'm enjoying cooking, and I think Colby's enjoying eating my cooking? I'm about to explode in all of my procrastination glory!! I'm ready to be done with school. I'm so looking forward to this summer.

Things I want to accomplish this summer are...Thus far:

1. Lose 10lbs. I'm working on that currently, but I want to be able to look good and feel better.
2. Yoga Yoga Yoga. I need to go back to Yoga!
3. Reading! I have lists of books to read: The Cement Garden, The Virgin's Lover* I'm already half way through with this one, Finish A Million Little Pieces* Even if he was lying in most of it! The Chronicles of Narnia, The Davinci Code, Wicked.....There are plenty of others. I Also need to look at some books for my Children's Library. I'd like to start getting some chapter books built up. I have lots of picture books, now I need chapter books. I'd love to have Where the Red Fern Grows, Possibly Boxcar Children, Chronicles of Narnia...etc.
4. Maybe get some pigment to my skin...?
5. Buy a fantastic pair of shoes! Running shoes, and kitten heels, Sandals....You name it! Can I really count this as a goal for summer???..... Of course I can, It's my summer.

This is just a very few small things I'd like to do. I'm so excited summer is just about here!

Just A Reminder To Myself, So My Head Doesn't Explode!

I need to get a few things accomplished before finals arrive, which is very very close.

1. Write a five page paper on No Child Left Behind, and take a side. (for or against it)
2. Make a presentation on a trifold board for my Health for Educators class.
3. Finish all my quizzes for Reading.
4. Write a paper for my Combats Memoirs class on 'How I perceived my interview with my dad.'
5. Finish the presentation for my Dad's Interview
6. Write up my self evaluation for my Reading 421 class. Have the kindergarten teacher fill out her final evaluation for me.

I think that sums up all of the BIG things that I need to get done. I hope I'm not forgetting anything, I'm so stressed out! I NEED A MASSAGE .....And some oreos!

Everybody knows...Pimpin' Ain't Easy

I work at an At Risk school, and the other day while I was hanging out with the kindergarteners it started to rain. Really hard. So we had indoor recess. Every teacher's nightmare! They were crazy. So there are a few different centers and only four children can play at each center at a given time. I was hanging around the legos center when a little boy said, (they never get my name right.) "Ms. Casey LOOK!" He had made a man and a dog out of legos. I looked at them and said what an awesome job he was doing....he replied and I quote, "Ms. Casey, They're pimps. A pimp dog, and a pimp man. Yo YO!! They all pimps, i'm a pimp....you a pimp...." (Getting the picture?)

I couldn't help but laugh. What the hell is wrong with people? I'm not really sure whether or not he knew what a pimp was, but he had been exposed to everything that goes along with it, like:

1. The pimp walk..... You know the slouching
   
2. The pimp grab..... The grabbing of the "Hommies, Boys, Cash and Prizes"
3. The signs... He threw his hands up in front of him with two sidways peace signs.

He's in KINDERGARTEN! He was playing with another little boy at the lego table. This little boy was making a wall complete with windows. 'pimp boy' as we'll dub him, kept telling the other little boy to put eyes at the top of the wall so it could watch the pimps.

Did I miss something? Is there now a class called Pimps 101...? Yo YO!

A Musical Meme

This Meme was taken from linz, who stole it from Wendy. I loved it!

Put your music player on shuffle.
Press forward for each question.
Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense.

1. How am I feeling today? "Danger Zone" Kenny Loggins

2. Will I get far in life? "Start A War" Static X
3. How do my friends see me? "One Headlight" Wallflowers

4. Where will I get married? "Hero" Sevendust
5. What is my best friend? "Stay With Me" Rod Stewart
6. What is the story of my life? "I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night" Kiss

7. What was high school like? "Beer for my Horses" Toby Keith
8. How can I get ahead in life? "Hit the Ground Running" Johnny Lang
9. What is the best thing about me? "Your Body is a Wonderland" John Mayer
10. What is today going to be like? "Runaway Train" Soul Asylum
11. What is in store for this weekend? "She's Not There" The Ventures
12. What song describes my parents? "Pink" Aerosmith
13. To describe my grandparents? "No Woman No Cry" Bob Marley
14. How is my life going? "Winter Kiss" Embodyment
15. What song will they play at my funeral? "Oi to the World" No Doubt
16. How does the world see me? "Where the River Flows" Collective Soul
17. Will I have a happy life? "Making Memories of Us" Keith Urban
18. What do my friends really think of me? "Midwest Swing" Nelly
19. Do people secretly lust after me? "Praise" Sevendust
20. How can I make myself happy? "Let's Go Fly A Kite" Mary Poppins SOundtrack....ok I love disney stuff..
21. What should I do with my life? "Heirate Mich" *Marry Me -- Rammstein
22. Will I ever have children? "Sweet Emotion" Aerosmith
23. What is some good advice for me? "Friends in Low Places" Garth Brooks
24. How will I be remembered? "I Want You to Want Me"
25. What is my signature dancing song? "Get Stoned" Hinder
26. What is my current theme song? "Cranking the Sirens" Soilwork
27. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? "Break Ya Neck" Busta

"If you're happy and you know it......Grit your teeth."

Today my classes got canceled so Colby and I decided to go out and about in our big ol' town. First stop a billiards place. We had to go see if the shaft for his pool cue was in, turns out it was back ordered. Then I asked if we could go to the place where I got my nose pierced and look for another nose ring. So we go in, we're browsing, the lady tells me not to change if for a few more months- I said, "ok" through cringing teeth. Colby sees a pair of plugs for his ears that he would like to purchase. They're a 4 gauge and his hears are gauged at a 6. For any of you who are not familiar with the process of gauging your ears basically its this:

• You get your ears pierced at a very small gauge, but its a higher number like an 18 is a small hole a 0 is a HUGE hole.
  
• Colby decides to get the earlets that are gauged at a 4.
• The outside of the earlets are gauged at a 2.
  
• In order to get the earlets into his ears he has to ultimately go from a 6 to a 2 which is a HUGE difference.

End result: Colby's ears are bleeding, he keeps saying, "Whooooooooo," sort of like a whoosh sound. He almost passed out as the man tapered them into his ears. Completely lost color in his face. But they just look so damn good! I'm sure the pain was worth it....haha
He just ran over and asked me to, " AHHH IT BURNS Blow on it!"
He's now singing "If you're happy and you know it......Grit your teeth."

Little Miss Mag Pie

So I talked to my momma today, and my poor little sister has a bladder infection. She had to stay home from work, and is in a whole lot of pain. I guess that her back started hurting a couple of days ago, and she couldn't figure out why so they thought maybe it was the baby stretching and moving around. Come to find out it was her bladder because she was violently throwing up all morning. She's lost one pound and one inch around her stomach. They did an ultrasound to look at the baby, and little miss Maggie was sleeping with her hands under her chin. Aww....The life.

Yet Another Choice For Our Future.

Ah yes, Albania... This is another choice for Colby and I. #3 choice for the Peace Corps. And This picture could be Colby and I later on in the traditional garb. I find it very sexy. Here are a few fun facts about Albania:

1. Borders the Adriatic Sea and Ionian Sea, between Greece and Serbia and Montenegro.
2. It is a little bit smaller than Maryland.
3. 70% of the population is Muslim.
4. 3,581,655 population estimated for July 2006
5. There are currently 1.1 Million people who are using cell phones.

Loved.

Sometimes I find myself missing my Grandma, and my Uncle in the worst ways. Every now and then I'll catch myself remembering little phrases they used to say and it stops me in my tracks. They aren't significant things that changed my life, but little quirky things. When I'm at home I always open my closet before I go to bed and grab my uncles shirts and bury my head in them. It reminds me of him a kind of smoky smell. Sometimes it's the little things we don't want to let go of. I remember my Gran's smile and her laugh most of all. I was walking in wal-mart the other night and passed a night gown on a rack, and it reminded me so much of her--she always had these long cotton night gowns with flowers on them. I caught myself walking by that same night gown again tonight and running my hand across it.

Every time I see my dad it reminds me of my uncle. If I'm feeling this way, I can only imagine what he's going through. My grandmother's house used to be so gorgeous. Every year she would plant at least 400 tulips and they were so pretty, the biggest tulips you've ever seen. The tulips that she last planted are almost gone, and the ones that did bloom are very small. Sometimes you wonder if her home is grieving too.

I've just really had one of those emotional days. Sometimes I just break down, that's how life goes. The picture was taken 1 day before my Gran died, and 6 months before my Uncle Daddy passed away.

To Boob, or not to Boob.....

Yesterday while I was minding my own business at work, I stumbled upon a woman breast feeding her child in the middle of everything at Wal-mart. I know I took a double take, because it really caught me off guard I mean it was like: candy, candy, something shiny, box on the floor, small child, boob, sunglasses......BOOB!

I don't want to offend anyone, but here's my opinion on it. If you are going to breast feed your child, which I find nothing wrong with, and you have to do this in Wal-mart and refuse to sit in the fitting room *in private* put a blanket over your shoulder to shelter the exposed boob. I myself, could never do that in public, and if there were an emergency, I definitely wouldn't whip em' out right there in the open. I happen to consider breast feeding as a pretty intimate thing, and why would you want to be displaying it for everyone to see-IN WAL-MART of all places, but I digress.

The point is, I was shocked to see this in Wal-mart. When telling this to my friend, Fred, she said, " Well, I would happen to think that Wal-mart would be the place you would expect to see something like that." I guess I agree, just caught me off guard.

Miraculously Large Thighs

Colby and I have decided once and for all to begin our diet. Last night we went to the grocery store in search of 'healthy things' to eat. I find that if you go around the edges of the grocery store you're more likely to find the good things, if you walk in to the heart of the store, you're in trouble. I kept seeing little things and saying well, what about this if we get this and only eat it some of the time...then it won't be so bad, huh? Colby shot down all of my ideas. Then I walked by one of those bag o'cookies and saw the peanut butter ones, the word miracle something was printed on the bag, and I said, "Look, see it says miracle.....something...!" and Colby shot back with, "Yeah, it's a miracle she fit into those jeans! Or, Miraculously Large Thighs! It's a miracle she's still walking!" I got the point, and so we went about our 'healthy food adventure'. After all was said and done, we walked out of there with:

• Water
• Rice Cakes
• Dietary Supplements
• *I got Slimfast
• and I may have slipped in a snickers, cause when you're hungry...Why wait?

It's going to be a long summer. I'm going to starve to death!

See this is my problem- I love to eat, I would eat all the time if permitted, and even when I'm not hungry I want something, when I see others eating-I want something. I would be a very depressed girl if I had to drink my meals. Uhh! I eat very slow to savor every last bite, because I'm never sure when Colby will come in and say, "Alright Char-Marie, that's your 12th Oreo....I'm cuttin' ya off!"


Goodbye Oreos, I'll write.

FAMILY FUN DAY!

Here are a few pictures from today! It was our "family fun day!"

Kyle, Stori, and I. Look at her bellah!

Me right before I launched the ball all the way in the corner of the yard, not on target at all! Have I ever told you guys that I was supposed to play ball professionally? The Yankees call me all the time, finally I just told them "Listen guys! I told you that you couldn't afford me, STOP CALLING!" They continue to call...

Happy Easter!

Nothing says Easter like a chocolate covered peanut butter egg.. mmmm.... Kidding.

I've had such a good day today. First off, I had to work at 8 in the a.m until 5- that wasn't the good part. I came home afterwards and got to hang out with my family. Everyone was here, except Colbin-who's hanging out with his wicked cool family. We're so lucky to have awesome families. I spent all night blowing bubbles for Ewan, and the dog was very fascinated with them as well. We spent a good hour trying to throw a dog ball *large softball* into a garbage can from a distance, whoever got it in won 5 dollars! 5 dollars is like half a paycheck to me so I gave it my all, and failed horribly. You might as well have told me to aim the farthest you can from the garbage can cause that's where it landed EVERY TIME! I enjoyed taking pictures of my sister, and her every growing tummy/booty. I love the fact that her butt is expanding because all of our lives she's been ultra skinny and I've been the sister with the butt.

In the picture I almost dropped her twice. She's getting a little hefty.
Once again I'm procrastinating. I have tons of homework so I better get to it.

And So, A Rockstar Was Born...

Tonight, while I was at work, It got very busy and I was called up to the checkouts to cashier. The night was just dragging on, I hate checking because #1. It's not my job. #2. I'm not getting MY job done. #3. I have to deal with customers over and over and over.

So like I said it was a very boring night. Later on in the evening I had a customer come through with two teenage girls, about 13/14. While I was checking, I noticed the two girls looking at me and talking to each other. My initial thought was Oh great, my nose ring is hanging out and looks like a silver boog! When the girls noticed that I was watching them talk about me, one piped up and said, "I love your necklace!" relieved that it hadn't been a boog I said thank you. Then they just started spouting off things like, "I love your hair!" "OMG look at her glasses! Did you know that your glasses have zebra print on the inside?" I shook my head yes. One girl even jumped up and down because she was having a fit of joy that my glasses actually had this on the inside. She jumped and clapped her hands! Then one said, "Look at her shirt! I like your shirt." at this point I laugh and say thanks. The other said, "That is actually two shirts, that's hot!" Now I'm cracking up because you would think I'm some huge rockstar or something. I almost said, "Would you like an autograph? Oh, and on Friday I need someone to do my laundry, I'll actually let you touch these hot clothes."

So it would be nice to have little girls at wal-mart to follow me around and fall down over my every action. Tell me how nice my hair is, that my outfit is the absolute coolest, and that yes, my glasses are indeed the coolest glasses out there. What a lucky girl I am. Wonder if I could hire them?

I've Got Sunshine On a Cloudy Day.......

Woooohooo! Today my class was canceled and I don't have to go to work until 4:15 tonight. It is 84 and SO nice out today. It's really amazing how good the sun and warmth makes you feel. You really see it in everyone, except..... The lady who was helping me with my fabric today. I had to go this morning to get some fabric for a dress that I have to get made, because I'm going to be in a wedding in June. This lady was NOT nice! I've never had a dress made for me or dealt with fabric, or measuring myself, etc.. This lady didn't seem like she cared all that much about it. Besides, she had a mustache......*that wasn't nice-my bad. (true though)

So anyways, like I was saying: IT IS SOOOO NICE OUT!!! I went shopping this morning for some shorts for tomorrow, because Colb and I are going to Silver Dollar City! I feel like a little kid...And I love it!

Workin 9-5....What a way to make a livin'

I know I post a lot about my job, but I've really been having issues with them lately. They now tell me that after 3 years of working there that I can no longer wear jeans, that I have to dress up. I argue and ask what's the point, I'm always on the floor in the dirt. I do not want to pay lots of money to get khakis or nice pants just to ruin them. Being that I'm so tall, I can't walk into wal-mart and buy pants, I have to go to the mall so they're long enough, which means they cost more. Plus just to really piss me off they've told me that I can't have my nose ring, not even a clear one, I can't even cover it with a band-aid.

It wouldn't be such a big deal, except I don't like working there anyways! I would love to find a job somewhere else. I need to for my own sake, because I'm becoming a not nice person. That is driving me crazy. I know I shouldn't be sarcastic to the people, even if they're mean to me. That's not my style anyways, but I feel I've been pushed to my breaking point.

Time to start looking for another job.

Are you out there?

This is just a shout out to my friend, Mark. I haven't heard from you in a while and I had a horrible dream about you last night! CALL ME, or comment.

Lions, and Tigers, and Bears.....OH MY!

This afternoon Colby and I decided to go to the zoo. The last time I had gone to the zoo was about 4 years ago. I was so excited. It was such a beautiful day and I can't think of any better way to spend it then swatting at mosquitoes and trying to get the mountain lions to fight. It was great. The little monkeys were putting on shows, at one point in time there was this blonde colored monkey and he had a dandelion in his hand and he was just looking at it and pulling off petals he loves me, he loves me not....He loves me.... Then he stuck the whole thing in his mouth and kept looking at his empty hand with such sadness, he loves me not... They've really added on to the zoo since I had been there last. Lots of new animal enclosures. Colby knows I'm terribly afraid of birds, so he tried to get every bird he saw: (peacocks, geese, ducks) to chase me. I would have ran like a little girl.

Now Colby and I are headed to see Slither, I've heard some really good things.

Ice Cream, and Xbox....Who could ask for more?

Last night, like every Thursday night, I go home to see what's kickin at the home front. The FAM had been doing a little switching of the rooms, and painting of the walls. We always end up watching survivor on Thursdays, because...Well... That's just what we do. Then it's CSI, and Without a Trace. I started falling asleep on the couch after CSI. Everyone had gone to bed, and then I was wide awake. I try to keep myself occupied while I'm hanging out alone, so I listened to the rain and watched the lightning, then I looked at some pictures, and then I thought I'd just give in to sleep. After I washed my face and brushed my teeth, I noticed that my dad was still wide awake watching t.v.

I couldn't just let him lay there awake to think, so I did what anyone would do. I used his weakness to drag him out of bed- Ice cream! I said, "Are you going to lay there all night, or are we going down to sonic to get some ice cream?" It was 11:00 and he thought they would be closed, but I assured him they'd stay open for us. So he jumped out of bed, you didn't have to ask him twice. He asked mom if she wanted us to bring her something back, and she was sound asleep. Off we went to Sonic at 11pm to get some ice cream, me in my pajamas, and dad with his breathe right nose strip and slippers. I got a rootbeer float, and dad got a chocolate sundae, complete with a cherry on top. I asked him what he'd like to do now, because the night was still young, he said he had two xbox games he'd been dyin to play.

There you have it, one of the best Thursdays a father and daughter could ever have: Ice cream and video games! We drove race cars while eating ice cream until after midnight, then we slept in until 10am....

It's a nice day for a WHITE WEDDING!

Alright, after Colb and I had this conversation I felt the need to share my boyfriend's crazy imagination with you. *Ahem*

Colby told me of this dream he had and it's very vivid.

Its starts out that I propose to him, which I've seriously been considering, and he says, "yes" The wedding is the next day. We are in some place in India and there are little mud huts everywhere. We say I do, and then everyone breaks into song and dance. This is where I chimed in and said, "so our wedding is going to be a musical...Ok, I can handle that." While everyone is breaking it down in the cobblestone street, Colby notices two tigers stalking a fence line looking at us. He said he seemed to be the only one who was scared. Then all of a sudden some tiger pounced on some woman in the alley way behind us. He told me in, I assume in his best Stephen Seagull action hero voice, "Char-Marie, run-Save yourself!"

While I'm runnin for the hills he is off to a magical castle complete with witches to get a magical dagger to kill the tigers with. It just so happens, however, that another witch is wanting the same *blue icicle dagger* as well. Colby gets it first, but she ends up stabbing him in the gut, but only a little. He, out of nowhere, stabs her with the blue icicle dagger, then pulls out a sword he just so happened to be toting as well, then he stabs her with the knife in his gut. She's dead. He comes back to save the day with his magical dagger, just to find that his kick ass wife has already taken care of business, and I imagine she didn't even break a sweat.

Friday Fill-in:

1. Where oh where did I put my...... White shirt, with lace on the bottom. It's strange, but every time I go home to do laundry the dryer seems to eat some of my favorite things. *Ahem Stori...
2. I'd rather be.....no where, but here. I'm hangin out with the wicked cool boyfriend *Colbin* we just got done eating at Texas Roadhouse..We totally gorged ourselves-it was SO worth it!
3. My hair is.... fantastically curly. Colby goes crazy when I don't dry my hair because its very curly, he loves it. Soon Colby's momma, Mary Beth, will be doing a treatment on my hair to make it straight for months...No Chi straightener required. Enjoy it while it lasts Colb.
4. I'm such a slacker I really need to be..... Working on my homework, lesson plans, and reports. It's so easy to say, "Ehh, I'll do it tomorrow!" Tomorrow always ends up being the day before it's due, I work well under pressure.
5. Oh boy! This weekend should be...... Great, Colby's taking me on a date Saturday! We're going to have sushi and listen to live jazz. I'm STOKED!
   

Wondering.

Is it just me, or does it smell like fruit loops after it rains? It has been raining all morning and after my kindergarten class I walked out and it smelled just like fruit loops....I love the smell of fruit loops.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Today is that wicked cool boyfriend of mine, Colby's BIRTHDAY! He's 22 and has finally caught up with me for a few months anyways. Colby I've been with you since you were 17 and have only missed one of your birthdays, I promise to never miss anymore. I love you so much and hope you're having a fantastic day! MWAH!

Love

-C

Self Portrait

Self Portrait
Originally uploaded by Char-Marie.

A view from the mirror in our hotel room in Kansas City, right before we hit the casino and walked away in shame. It was a great time, I'd do it again!

The little things...

Oh the little things we take for granted like washing our faces without screaming-because you hit your nose, or scratching our noses and not being worried, or blowing our noses without the thought that it could be disastrous, and just earlier right before I sneezed I had this vision of my nose ring flying out of my nose, and pegging some old woman in the face---how awful would that be?!

Thinking

There is just something about burger king chicken fries! I love love love them. They take me back to when I was younger and babysitting my sister during the summers, we'd make chicken strips that tasted just like them...well.....sort of.

Jeez Louise......

I just registered for my classes this morning and I have to take 7 classes next semester!!! I cannot even imagine 7 classes and they are all scheduled on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday! I would have liked to spread them out a little, but they're all block classes which mean they were already set up for my major to be on those specific days. 17 hours of school a week, 35 hours of work, and somehow the world does not stop spinning. I'm so close to student teaching it's crazy. Soon I'll have to start planning for the "real world", as my dad likes to call it. I'm so worried that work will drop my grades, because these are my last classes before student teaching and they're VERY important. *just breathe

Spontaneity

The boys and I decided to go to kaleidoscope and buy Colby some new earrings, and get Corey's earring fixed. Just like that I decided I'm gonna get something pierced! So, I did. I pierced my nose today! It was so much fun, it looks really cute and it hurt for a split second, and now it only hurts when I laugh. I have to hold my nose if I smile or laugh because it pulls and that stings a bit. Now I'll have to deal with going to work where piercings aren't allowed, I'll possibly have to wear a tiny band-aid on my nose. I also work in classrooms with little kids, I'll have to deal with that too. It was very liberating.....Everyone should try it!

Surprise!

For the past few months I've been planning a fantastic surprise for my wicked cool boyfriend, Colby. Last night it went according to plan. I threw Colby a surprise birthday party and it was so much fun. I told him that I was taking him to dinner the weekend before his birthday *April 4th- When we got to the restaurant-(Millie's- Turn of the Century Cafe) the waitress took us to the patio *which I reserved, and as we turned the corner everyone started singing Happy Birthday it was great. Everyone did such a good job keeping the secret for this long, and he was so surprised! Dinner was excellent, and to top it off I had invited his brother Jacob, cousin Corey, and might as well be brother-Nate. That put the icing on the cake. Thanks everyone for keeping it a secret and showing up for the surprise!

That's Life.

Today I'm totally drained. Life is really catching up with me. I'm running around trying to get everything done. I've spent time studying, taking tests, driving back and forth from MSU to an elementary school that i'm working with. Searching for a parking space... Searching for a parking space....Searching for a parking space. I worked with a school nurse for two hours this morning and now i'm supposed to be studying for a test in my combat memoirs class.

I'm ready to take a nap. I'm in a funk and I hate that. Not because of school or the day, just things. Little things that make their way under my skin and even though I hate myself for it, I can't do anything to make it stop and make that feeling go away. You know how you can be having a perfect day and then poof you see something, or you hear something and it completely drops you and even though you know it shouldn't ... it still does. That's today.

A Must Have.

I recently stumbled upon a fantastic thing, that I think needs to be in every woman's bag o'tricks. I absolutely love it. It's Smith's Rosebud Salve. On the back it reads: For chapped skin, blemishes, diaper rash, and detergent burn. Honestly if it can help aid diaper rash think of what it can do for your lips! It's fabulous! I use it for my hands and for my lips, and when i'm really feeling froggy I put some on my cheek bones to make them shimmer a bit. Try it, I know you'll love it!

Kansas City Venture

Kansas City was fun. We had a good time, we went gambling ate at very nice restaurants and just got to really hang out together. We walked the plaza and window shopped, basically we planned our vacation around places to eat. When we went gambling we spent fifteen dollars each and played penny slots for about three hours, it was so much fun. At one point in time we were each up a little bit of money- the alarms went off and Colby won fifteen dollars, I thought we were millionaires, I screamed and jumped up and down, even winning two dollars was exciting. I guess i'm easily pleased. While driving I saw this billboard and thought it was fantastic! The rest of my pictures are posted on flickr.

Friday Fill Ins :

Taken from Lindsay who stole it from Erin, who took it from Megan :). Thanks Ladies.

My next pet will be named.... Atticus. I would love to have a dog named Atticus or Sprockador-*the dog from fraggle rock.* I loved fraggle rock when I was a kid.
This weekend I plan to.. Well, this weekend has already passed and I spent the weekend in Butler with Colby's family. It was a blast as always. We had a good time, just hangin out watchin movies and eating until we could eat no longer.

Breakfast was... Breakfast was excellent! Mary Beth is an awesome cook, we had ham gravy crescent rolls, and eggs. Mmmmmmmmmm.

Last night at 8pm I was..... Sitting next to Colby's dad, Bryan, watching a movie and eating homemade pizza *again big shout out to Mary Beth.* Thanks Bryan for handing my drink back and forth back and forth.

I deal with stress by..... Crying. I end up having a melt down every so often and I sometimes just burst into tears. Thanks Colb for dealin with it as well as you do.

I forgot.... That I had so much homework, and a test on Tuesday!

Who wants cookies?!

Tonight I was going through the cabinets desperately looking for the two boxes of macaroni and cheese I know that I had bought--when I stumbled upon a bag o'cookies peanut butter cookies, you know the kind... you just add some lovin and poof you have cookies. Well...I decided I had to have these so I went to wal-mart to buy some eggs and came back to bake my delicious peanut butter cookies. I poured the cookies into bowl and ohh the smell was so lovely it was so lovely until I noticed the that the expiration date 2003! My first reaction was to cry, my second was to yell for Colby and ask him if we could still make them. He thought we had better go back to the store and get some more, so off we went. Now I know what you're thinking--Why didn't she just make them from scratch? --well I asked myself the same question..and then laughed for thinking it because I already have trouble with cookies from the roll, I burnt the piss out of my bicep....I'm sticking with the roll o'cookies.

We came home with a roll of peanut butter, and a roll of chocolate chip. Let me tell you there's nothing like peanut butter cookies at midnight. Mmmm I even made the criss cross with the fork and sprinkled love on them.

Woohoo.

Spring break has officially started. Colby and I went to help out my dad yesterday, we've been remodeling and are getting ready to sell a few things. We slept in today until 11! I cannot remember the last time I actually slept in--that late! It was great, then we got up and ordered a pizza, I took a shower and off to the salon I went. I got a french manicure, a massage, and my hair cut and styled. I desperately needed that relaxation. I came home and vacuumed and swiffered. I love to swiffer, it makes me think of the commercials--she looks like she's having so much fun.

Tomorrow we leave bright and early for Kansas City! I'm stoked. I just hope its not freezing! Ahhh one week off, it's already going by too quickly.

Messing with the camera.

Char-Marie
Originally uploaded by Char-Marie.

Tonight while I was sitting in front of my computer I started snapping photos. This happened to be one of the "better" photos taken. There is however a not so flattering picture of me on my flickr page. I was caught off guard and Colby tells me that it's a face he see's often. I'm a little offended..

Craving.

I would love to have a strawberry-banana smoothie right now. Borders has the best smoothies ever!

Little House on the Prairie.

Right now i'm waiting in a computer lab until my next class, which will be held in a one room school house. A one room school house?-you say. Yes, that's right. Today i'll Little house on the prairie it up. This 'one room school house' is complete with the very old wooden benches/desks, cups for your ink pens, big paintings of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, and a bell that you ring to let you know school's in session.

I have to walk up hill both ways to get there too!

Shoes.

Are these sandals that I picked up today-not the cutest things you've ever seen?! I think they're absolutely adorable. Little miss Maggie is going to have a wide selection of shoes-as should any girl. I'm so excited about being an Auntie! We'll go shoe shopping EVERY WEEKEND! And when she's old enough i'll give her a pass *sort of like a library card* that allows her to check out some of my shoes....*Just like the library - Late fees do apply.

I was looking at Lindsay's Blog and decided...Why not?

Your Aura is Blue

Your Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart. You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone. Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satistifed. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor.

What Color Is Your Aura?

Spring Break.

Colby and I have decided we're going somewhere after all. We decided last night that we're going to go to Kansas City and stay near the plaza. We'll go to the Nelson Atkins museum, a photography museum, the zoo, and where ever else our hearts desire. We're staying two nights there and then we'll head down to stay with his family for a couple of days. I'm so stoked! A vacation, a very desperately needed vacation! WOOHOOO!

I was thinking about possibly wearing a skirt while we're there, and for those of you who do not know me- this is a really big deal- because I never wear skirts. The only way i'll wear one is if I go and get a mystic tan, and i've never had one before so i'm scared that i'll turn orange... We'll see. I bought the cutest pair of shoes that will go with a very cute skirt!

A relief.

For the past few weeks i've been in and out of the doctor's office. Recently I had found a lump in my breast, and it continued to pain me and spread. This made me worried, so I made more appointments with the doctor. When it was confirmed that indeed the lump had grown, I had an appointment at the breast center at St. Johns.

This week i've been a nervous wreck, wondering what it could be and all the possibilities. Colby has been assuring me *I love him so* All the praying and thinking positive paid off. I went to the doctor this morning for a mammogram, and ultrasounds- everything turned out ok as far as they can tell. It turns out to be fibrocystic disease-which really isn't a disease at all. It's common in women over thirty, and since i'm in my early twenties we need to keep an eye on it. Needless to say i'm very relieved and so is everyone else.

I knew it!

Although, I'm not going to fall for someone new this year, I fell a long long time ago. You Are Most Like Carrie!

You're quirky, flirty, and every guy's perfect first date. But can the guy in question live up to your romantic ideal? It's tough for you to find the right match - you're more than a little picky. Never fear... You've got a great group of friends and a great closet of clothes, no matter what! Romantic prediction: You'll fall for someone this year... Totally different from any guy you've dated.

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

I lost the bet...

3 months
Originally uploaded by Char-Marie.

Today my sister and I went to her ultrasound appointment to see whether it was a girl or a boy. The votes are in and it's a *drum roll please........* Its a girl!!! We're so excited! I can't wait to have a chubby little girl to take around with me. She'll be so spoiled and i'll laugh because the minute she cries i'll hand her back to her momma! The baby seems to be perfectly healthy so far so good. It was absolutely precious! She kept putting her hands in front of her face and turning her head. It is such an amazing thing to see- I'm watching the ultrasound and looking at Stori, then looking at her belly and I cannot imagine having a little someone in there wiggling around. I already think she's precious and i've yet to really see her face.

I cannot wait to be an Auntie!!!!

No means No in Español.....

This definitely surpasses anything I've experienced at Wal-mart. Today I was asked to help a Hispanic man in his early 40s. He was trying to find a shovel handle, so I took him out to lawn and garden where we keep the shovels....And we didn't have any handles. When I tried to tell him(in the most broken Spanish you've ever heard) that we didn't have shovel handles, he grabbed my arm really hard. He really latched on to my arm and started to jerk me towards him! My hair fell into my face *due to him jerking me forward* and he was trying to move my hair away from my face so he could *get this* KISS ME!!! He was pulling me towards him, I was screaming NO! *No is a universal word---HE KNEW WHAT THIS MEANT! Yet he proceeded to jerk my arms and when he finally realized it was not going to happen-he kissed my arm and I jerked free and started walking away...*a very fast walk*

This was SO scary! The guy left marks on my arm, and was very strong. I thought about pushing him, kneeing him in the junk, punching him, but I knew that he was a lot stronger than me and we were the only two people outside in lawn and garden. The audacity of some people! I don't care if he couldn't speak English, he knew what he was doing was wrong!

Express lunch my A$$!

I would like to say this because it may make me feel a little better. If you're planning on going to lunch today, and you're on a schedule-don't go where I went. It took forever. I'm not so sure that the guy serving us knew he was at work. At one point in time he came over to our table lifted my purse out of the seat next to me and sat down because his legs were tired. Then he took my drink and asked what I had and said he'd be back with a refill....i'm still waiting for it. It took 30 minutes for him to write down what we wanted to drink another 30 to write down what we wanted to eat and forever to get our 'Express Lunch'!!

Ok i'm better now.

At least it wasn't on fire?.....

Ok, another Wal-mart rant... This happened last summer when I was answering the phones. I had just recently had knee surgery, and was bound to a stool answering the phones at the fitting room. I was minding my own business when this lady with NEON PINK hair walked up to me and threw a bag in front of me. I was so not ready for what she was about to say. She looked around to see if anyone was listening and then said this-"That bag has SHIT in it!" I know my mouth must have hit the floor. I just looked at her with this confused look on my face and said what anyone in my situation would have said, "What?!"

"It has shit in it, I was looking through it and stuck my hand in it. WHY DON'T YOU PEOPLE CHECK YOUR BAGS?!" At this point i'm laughing at her and I can't really control it, I look at her and say, "Well ma'am we don't normally have to check our bags for that." She stormed off leaving me with the poo poo bag, only to come back and say this: " And it's in my FINGERNAILS! I'm going to sue Wal-mart. My children saw this, and i'm so embarrassed...." blah blah blah..... I ask her if she'd like me to call a manager and she storms off Neon Pink hair, 6 inch nails and all.

I'm not really sure what kind of poo had contaminated the said-bag.....but it made for an interesting day. By the way, before you go rummaging around in bags/purses at Wal-mart you may want to put on gloves.

Confessions of a Wal-Mart Employee....

Ok---I know that I talk a lot about good ol' wal-mart here, I have no choice- This is why:

I'm working at the registers because we were busy and there weren't enough cashiers. This man walks up to me and I say, "Hi." He replies, "No I'm not, do I look high?" I look at him and bag his items.... I say, " It's $3.43." He holds out a five dollar bill and I reach for it as I grab it, he pulls it back. So I laugh thinking *I'll kick you in the face if you don't let go... He starts to hand it to me again, and again I fall for this HILARIOUS game we're playing. Ok sir it's $3.43.... again he pulls away the money----I shot him a look so good that if looks could kill he would have died many many times.

I turn to my drawer get the change and he finally lets go of the 5..... WHY! Why do people have to act like this? Do you think it's cute? I laugh and speak under my breath, but it really really irritates me. I've been standing in one spot all day long hearing BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEP....Grabbing, turning, grabbing, turning. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone when I'm checking, my feet hurt, my back hurts, I have a major headache, and if you don't let go of the money I'm liable to rip off your arm and shove it into my till!

*deep breaths*

In war, there are no unwounded soldiers.

(Picture of my Dad in Vietnam.)
Last night I met my parents after work, and I had an interview with my dad. I had mentioned here. It's an interview with a veteran from the Vietnam war and its all on camera, then it goes to the Library of Congress. Last night I got the privilege to interview my dad for this project. I am so proud of the things my dad had to do and endure. A couple parts of the interview I thought I was going to break down, but I held it together. A few things he just told me flat out, "It's not something I want to remember, I don't really want to talk about it." He left out some things because he didn't want us to hear some of the cruel things that happened over there.

Here's where I rant:

I've been keeping up with the news and this is really really bothering me. A church from PA is picketing the funerals of the soldiers killed in Iraq, holding up signs that say: "Thank God for Dead Soldiers," and " You're going to hell." If it were my family who went over there, and lost their life in something that they thought was the right thing to do---and someone was picketing their funeral, you'd have to throw me in jail. It makes me so angry..A young man from Joplin, MO died last week in Iraq and they've said that they're coming to picket his funeral as well. They just stand there with these crazy grins on their face, screaming all of these horrible things while the family is mourning the loss of a loved one. In my eyes--how can they call themselves Christians??

I sat and listened to my dad talk about how he was treated when he came home from Vietnam. He was spit on, called a baby killer, a war monger. Three people tried to run him over when he was walking on the side of the road with a cane--trying to get home because his dad was dying of cancer. He went over there thinking that he was helping those people a little by maybe letting at least one married man stay home with his family, thinking that America was behind the soldiers...Maybe not the war, but the men who HAD TO go. He said, " They said that we were the lucky ones, that we were the one's who came home. I think that the lucky ones were the ones who didn't come back because they died thinking that America was behind them, that they were being supported. This may be cruel sounding to you, but a lot of us feel this way. I'm still very bitter over seeing our troops come back and be treated worse than animals."

There are people who don't support this war going on right now, but we should support our men that have enlisted and are on hand waiting to defend us. It doesn't directly affect any one of us if we do not have someone over there that we love. We're fine and safe in our homes, but those men, whether they enlisted when 9-11 happened or have been a part of the military for years and years, are in my eyes the bravest of individuals, willing to risk their lives so we don't have to. I'll thank them for the rest of my life.

Set Sail with Captain Morgan!

Last night was fun. Hollie, Heath, Stori, Colby and I all went out to eat sushi at a local Japanese restaurant. We had a blast! Heath had a party at his place and everyone except yours truly was drinking. I was taking care of the Colbster. ;) like I do. We had a good night. My friend Hollie was tanked....Hollie rarely drinks, but when she does...LOOK OUT! You're liable to hear anything come out of that girl's mouth. I'm known as the "historian" of the group- I run around with my digital camera and get everything....You wouldn't believe the dirt I have on some of these people....Everyone has to be nice to me cause I'm very capable of posting the pics on the internet...Sort of like the one's that I just posted on flickr.... ;)


Isn't he lovely?....I took him home with me.

Bummed.

I'm pretty bummed out. It seems that Colby and I are not going to Chicago after all. The place where he works had someone lined up and if that person worked for the job Colby could have gone, but the person hired backed out at the last minute...We're not going. I'm sad because Colby and I never really get to go anywhere together, we see each other in passing it seems. School and work are full time things, and so I was looking forward to not having to do anything for a week except spend time with him and scout out Chicago. I guess there's a time for everything...Someday we'll go. We'll just have to go get a pizza and hang out around here during springbreak. I'm sure we'll make the best of it.

Good Day Sunshine!

Good day sunshine
I need to laugh, and when the sun is out I've got something I can laugh about
I feel good, in a special way
I'm in love and it's a sunny day ---- (a little ode to the Beatles!)


Yes! It feels so good outside. It's supposed to be 82 degrees today, yesterday it was 78, and I HAVE THE DAY OFF!!!! I'm excited. I have to go to my class, then i'm going to jack around for the rest of the day.... It's such a great day for the lake....HA! Who am I kidding, i'd first of all never step into a bathing suit....Second of all, I'm scared to death of fish...

So I guess what I'm really trying to say is.... its a great day to go shoe shopping. :)

Who you gonna call......?

Ok, I would like a show of hands....Who of you out there truely believe in ghosts? * my hands up*

The reason I ask is that our house is now occupied by my Uncle Daddy. I think is awesome! It's not a scary thing, because we all love him and he loves us, so we know it's not something to be scared of. I am concerned, however, that he may not have crossed over.... I don't know a lot about these things, but I've been trying to read into this a little and as far as I can tell.. Ghosts don't move over until they've finished a task, they feel guilty about something, they don't think that the family is ready to part, it was so sudden that they don't know that they've passed. Personally I think it's because my dad and uncle were twins. The bond was so huge that I don't think one will go without the other. Give me some feedback.....

My mom saw my uncle walking down the hallway and into my room. I feel like i've seen him in the hallway too, but it was dark....maybe I just felt it. Or maybe I was dillusional....could be either or.

Ehhhh.

Well, I had to take a test today. The essays went pretty well, but I think the rest of the test is a completely different story. I'm just glad I got it out of the way. I'm just waiting for my chicken patty to get done, I'm STARVING! I went to a vending machine today and put in my money, I really really really was craving cheetos, but the machine kept telling me to pick something else.

"Char-Marie" it said, "You really don't need cheetos, so pick whatever else you want." I got really aggravated because I thought I could get my money back and go to the other machine with the glorious bag of cheetos...not the case. It was holding my money hostage! So, I broke down and bought peanut butter cookies--you know the kind that Grandma makes. Anyways, instead of my normal brain food of cheetos and mt. dew, I had to settle for peanut butter cookies, and grape juice.....

I'm going back to yoga tomorrow....Mark my words!

Romania.

Alright, I'm back with another choice. Colby and I are so excited about doing this. We're pulling for our families to start saving their money NOW so they can come and stay with us to see what we're doing. Anyone else is welcome to start saving now as well. ;) Here's our next pick: Romania! This is a picture of Translyvania, Romania scary huh!

Stats for Romania:

1. Location: Southeast Europe
2. Borders:It is bordered by Ukraine and Moldova in the northeast; Hungary and Serbia and Montenegro in the west and Bulgaria to the south along the Danube River.
3. Politics: Romania is a democratic republic
4. Religion: Christian Orthodox-86%
5. Language: Romanian-Romance language.
6. Climate: Temperate-Cold winters, hot summers.
7. Capital: Bucharest
8. Population: 21,800,000

Fun Facts:

1. Holidays celebrated are: Christmas, Easter, National Woman's Day, New Year's, Mărţişor, and they're starting to celebrate Valentine's Day.

2. Vampires are believed to hang around crossroads on St. George's Day, April 23rd, and the eve of St. Andrew, November 29th. The area is also home to Bram Stoker's Dracula. OOOooooo.....

3. Romanians have a tradition of drinking a shot of tuica before a meal. It is supposed to help with digestion.

4. Mamaliga ‑ a cornmeal mush, Is the Romanian all purpose staple food. Hot, cold, fried, it is delicious in melted butter, sour cream or yogurts, garnished with salt herring and cottage cheese, or eaten with eggs for breakfast, and added to meat dishes.

Well, what do you think? Do you think I can live without my sushi, fried potatoes, and macaroni and cheese?

Misc.

Man... I didn't set an alarm, and now i'm going to have to miss my class....;)
I have this crazy ringing in my ear....can you hear it? Anyways, last night Colb and I went to the fox, like every Sunday. We had a lot of fun--I had my game face on last night. I was on Fire! Ok now i'm going to go eat some cereal..FRUITY PEBBLES!!!! mmmmmmmmm

Driving. Need I say more?

Driving in Southwest Missouri is like having your hand stuffed inside a blender and being forced to look, or chewing on tinfoil. I absolutely hate driving in Missouri. People make me very angry. Ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you that I should probably be sedated and strapped into the backseat before we go for a ride. *Kind of like a dog-I need a tranquilizer or i'll jump out the window.

Anyways I tell you this because today I was driving and *honestly* minding my own business, going to speed limit because the sign says that's what I have to do, and out of no where this cross-eyed hillbilly with a beat up truck comes blazing by me and it kind of twerks me the wrong way. I, however, count to ten and keep going. Then the man gets over in the lane in front of me and gives me dirty hand gestures in the rear view mirror. Now ladies and gentlemen, this is uncalled for and so I get into the left lane and proceed to speed up a little and get next to him. I smile, wave with one finger and drive on-I even giggle a little when he gets stuck behind an older couple who seem to be sight seeing or are just so completely lost that they need to do double takes.

Now, if you talk to Colby's mom-Mary Beth she would tell you that I have the mouth of a sailor. To that I say this --Mary Beth the lady was putting your son in harms way, I didn't know you were on the phone with him at the time, I was protecting your son with my words that's why I dropped the f-bomb....But I have to tell ya, I only said F-u-c. If ya know what I mean. ; )
Mwwwah!

Hey LOOK....

Well, Gene has left. He was a riot! We had so much fun, and I'll tell you I've never laughed so hard in my life. He calls me his sister, and he's so excited about what's ahead (as far as family life goes.) My parents took him to the wild life zooquarium at bass pro in Springfield. My mom came back with the funniest stories, at one point in time he saw a jack rabbit and yelled really loud, " HEY DAD, Look at that Jack-ass Rabbit!" My parents cracked up, I was rolling when they told me about it. He's such a genuine, sweet person. I'm very proud to call him my big brother-I've always wanted one. When I left he gave me a HUGE bear hug and lifted me off the ground, "I'm so glad to call you my sister!" he said.

I'm very proud of my big family....Somehow we find ways to prevail in the darkest of times. We're resilient. Love you guys!!!

Children's Books.

I had to read to the kindergartener kids today. I read an African tale of Anansi the spider. I was told I was the best teacher in the wide...the whole wide world! They can be so sweet when they want. I forgive, but i'll never forget...: ) I've definitely seen the other side. I'm currently stocking up on my books that i'll need for my library.


Help me pick some out. What is your favorite children's book of all time? I need some good books for my collection.

First choice: Bulgaria.

Oh man, over the past few days I've really been thinking about how exciting it will be to actually start REAL life. Right now I just feel like i'm playing and not really doing anything special, even though i'm in school more than I sleep. So I was day-dreaming in class today about being in a foreign country and how I would dress, and what my hair might look like. I MIGHT ACTUALLY GET A TAN!!! * I know this isn't a reason why i'm going, just an added bonus* I can only imagine the different customs that our country has for instance:

Bulgaria is known for fire dancing! Dancing barefoot on hot coals... *My feet are very sensitive, walking on sand makes me wince so...probably not up for that. However, I won't say that it couldn't happen, it very well could.

Above is a picture of a street (small town) Bulgaria. I'm sure this wouldn't be our nice bungalow, but isn't it gorgeous.

I hear the food over there isn't half bad either! We'll see. I'm going to write about each country we're interested in to help to compare them.

Here's the stats on Bulgaria:

Size: About the size of Tennessee
Population: 7.4 million
Language: Bulgarian, and Turkish
Capital: Sofia
Climate: temperate with cold damp winters, and hot dry summers.
Borders: Greece, Macedonia, Romania, Serbia, Montenegro, Turkey
Politics: A parliamentary Democracy
Religion: Bulgarian Orthodox (86%)

Fun Facts:

1. Bulgaria has fought in both world wars on the losing side
2. Has a place called the valley of roses where hundreds of thousands of roses are in bloom in May. Roses are said to be Bulgaria's gold.
   
3. 2.8 million land lines, and 2.6 million cell phones..to the population of 7.4 million
4. Only 630,000 internet users
   
5. Favorite dessert is pancakes. *MMMmmmm
6. Said to be the home of Yogurt.
7. It's 11:00pm here, and 8:00am in Bulgaria.
   

Lucky Girl.

Wow, I'm really impressed with the turnout on comments! All time record :) Yes, Bulgaria is my first choice because of the orphanage. I think that would be so rewarding. Thinking back years ago I don't know if this option for my future would have ever been present, I'm just so blessed to have a boyfriend who brings out sides of me that otherwise probably would have never been found. It was my idea to join the peace corps, but I'm so lucky that my boyfriend finds such a passionate calling for it as well. Honestly there aren't a lot of men out there that would react the way he did: Me:"I just really want to go into the peace corps and do something bigger."
Colb: "Absolutely let's go."

And the rest is history.

On another note: I would really love to go to Africa, but Colby isn't as thrilled with that idea, simply because Africa holds 70% of the worlds Aids disease and the rape count is very high. So odds are that we're not going there.

Life Decisions.

The other night Colby and I were driving and talking about how we're almost out of school...then life really begins. I told him that I really wanted to join the peace corps, because I want to be able to make a difference on a worldly level not just here in the United States. We have it so good here in America, why not go somewhere and try and give a little? I just feel a calling for going out of my comfort zone and making an impact. Its a very good thing that Colby and I are on such a level where we're both open-minded and want to do the same things. He really wants to go too.

Here's the plan so far:

We sign up the end of this summer, graduate, get married next summer and leave time for a couple of months without jobs so we can spend times with our families, then its off to a third world country for two years.

Prospects thus far:

1. Bulgaria-- Bulgaria has a great program where I would be able to work with the orphanage..I told Colby we might get attached and adopt a few children-I wouldn't be opposed.
2. Romania- Colby really likes the idea of going to a soviet block country. Besides with Romania you get the Translyvanian alps...not to mention Translyvania.
3. Albania- It's wedged in with Greece, and Macedonia. It would be beneficial for us to go there because I'll be working in Education helping teach English as a foreign language, Colby may work with the youth as well, but he may work with environmental issues.
4. Thailand- The peace corps have been there since 1962 and that made us think that it may be pretty well established there and wouldn't be such a worry to us. Education Volunteers work in rural villages and towns across Thailand and collaborate closely with Thai educators in the primary English classroom to introduce, model, and share innovative new teaching approaches. Together, they integrate various topics into their English lessons (such as HIV/AIDS, environment, gender, information technology, and local wisdom and culture).
5. Morocco-Again working with children. The initial contact with youth is made through content-based English instruction at the Youth Center that is then the conduit for the implementation of outside activities. These activities may include organizing environmental clubs, planting trees, community cleanups, latrine building, sports teams, girls' education activities, youth mentoring, teaching computer skills, or teaching basic literacy to adults.

So here are 5 choices. We have to choose 5 because they may not be able to give us the exact location that we want, we're chosen by our skills and what country needs us the most.
VERY EXCITING! I'm stoked! Give me any input you wish, thanks.

Welcome to Missouri-- Leave yer boots on the front step.

My Uncle Daddy's son Gene is coming in from Bakersfield, CA today! I hope when he gets off the plane farmers don't attack him. My mom asked him what he liked to eat for dinner and he listed a few things, she asked if he liked fried potatoes, and gravy and he asked what that was...this should be good! I've never met him, and the fact of the matter is that he calls me his sister, and calls my parents his parents when in fact their his Aunt and Uncle. My mom isn't a whole lot older than he is. He didn't have a really good relationship with his parents, and so mine took him in. Gene is deaf, he can however hear with aids so we can talk over the phone. He is such a sweetheart, and his kids are adorable. He has two children Violet (3) and Liam (2) They're so sweet, I wish they were coming out as well. His wife Jennifer is very sweet as well, she teaches learning disabled children and specializes in the hearing impaired. Gene also works with hearing impaired children.

I have a lovely family.

Mmmmmm Crackers and Cheese.

So i'm sitting here sulking wondering how the hell I went 4 hours over my allowed minutes. I have a pretty good guess. I started going over my minutes after Uncle Daddy died, cingular wouldn't give me a break, so...... I'm sitting here eating crackers and cheese...no I'm not drinking wine because in a couple of hours i'll be sitting among thirty kindergarteners, *Now that ya mention it...* Instead i'm drinking cranberry grape juice (100%) juice at that.

%$#@*& *&%@

)(*&*&%^(&^)(&#$)%(*#_$^&_$&^_(#*&$(*#&$^(_*#$^*#)$^(*(_#*$&%_(@#&%+)(*^+)(#U$^_&#$^+)(*#+$)^*+)#$^*


There...^%&%*^%*& ...I'm better now...

&^(^%(&&^(^$)#%&)(#&$^_#*($_%*#$_%)

Are you there God? It's me, Char-Marie.

Dear God,

First let me start off by telling you that this is a really petty thing to ask help on, but I just recieved my cell phone bill and there's a mistake on it. It says I owe 190 dollars! I looked at the bill and sometime or other my phone connected itself to the internet and stayed connected to the internet for 244 minutes and at .45cents per minute that adds up to about 109.80. All i'm asking of you right now is to have cingular find it in their hearts to wipe that ugly charge off my bill...because the website that I supposedly connected to was: N368w0Was02124a;lsd.....

Thanks so much. Tell everyone up there I said hello.


Love,
Char-Marie

Amen

Chocolate, Bears, and Singing Roses....Yep, that about covers it!

Valentine's day.....*blah* What is the point of Valentine's Day? I need someone to explain this to me. It's really just a day that EVERY STORE ON THE PLANET talks about and makes into such a big deal, then everyone starts thinking of all the romantic things that can happen on Valentine's Day.....and are let down. For most people it's just a depressing day filled with candy, singing roses, and bears full of fluff! Who needs it.

On the other hand my boyfriend got me a cool thing for my iPod. *love ya Colb* I'm taking Colby on a train ride and out to dinner, should be fun.

I have successfully made it through half of valentine's day, the last half of it i'll be at work. HOW ROMANTIC!

Come by and see me.

"Roadkill"

My little sister's birthday was on February 11th. She's 19 now! I feel very very old! She's getting married soon and going to be having a baby. Time passes way too quickly! For her birthday my parents took all of us *me, Stori, Kyle, Colby* out to eat dinner at the Golden Corral, or the GC as Colby likes to call it, just so happened that it was Steak night. It was sooo good!

My little sister is VERY picky when it comes to eating everything has to be so-so nothing touching ...blah blah blah. Well my dad had got some steak and my sister asked him how he likes his steak-he told her medium. *I prefer well-done* As soon as he tells her this she jumps up and hurls her pregnant body towards the man cutting the steak. He tells her 4 minutes and we'll have some out here. She waits and then goes back 4 minutes later, asks her how she wants it-"medium," she says. He hands her her steak and she comes back to the table.

IT WAS STILL MOOING! The poor thing cried every time she started to cut into it! EHHHH! I looked at it and almost lost the cheesy potato casserole I was enjoying. She looked at it and all of the bloody juices around it and said, "Dad is this safe?" his reply was, "well...." So she took a big bite and I gagged....Then she got another piece and started dipping it into the juice and then eating it. I'm sorry, but if being pregnant makes you crave partially dead animals then i'm definitely adopting! Her new name is "Roadkill"---Although I don't think roadkill would be fresh enough for her new found craving for blood.

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's amore!!

So for springbreak i'm going to ....... CHICAGO! I'm very excited. Colby and I are flying out of here on March 20th. If anyone has any imput as to what we should do while we're there feel free to leave me a comment! What should I pack? We're not staying for a long time, but I tend to over pack because you can never have too many shoes. *huh, Colby.*

We'll be staying downtown, and we're buying a Chicago city pass. It lets you get into 25 of the biggest attractions there without standing in line. I'm definately going to have a pizza pie while i'm there-can't pass it up!

When Pooh Goes Apeshit!!

I was going through the Ipod the other day and ran into this "Bob and Tom parody" It's freaking hilarious!!! Here it goes:

Pooh Goes Ape Shit, by A.A. Milne

Think reading this in a voice that you'd read to small children-- complete with light music in the background.

- Everything was rather quiet in the hundred acre woods. The trees whispered to each other as the wind rustled their leaves. Under a big oak tree lived pooh bear, from inside pooh's house there came a steady BANG BANG BANG that was making his honey jars rattle on the sideboard. The light came through the window, and in the evening sun pooh raised the axe once more, and brought it down on the tattered remains of Christopher Robin. "Why Wont he Fit?", puffed pooh to himself. As the axe came down once more there was a small pile of earth with a hole next to it which pooh had hidden with his favorite rug. And Christopher Robin, the selfish brat that he was, didn't fit in the hole that pooh had dug, so instead of making it wider he decided to hack Christopher Robin's legs off. "A far more sensible idea," thought pooh, and hummed a little song to himself as he cut the last tendon and rammed the rest of the body in the hole. After covering it up with the rug. "Always too bossy," thought pooh, "always too bossy, always grabbing me by the paw and saying 'come on pooh lets have an adventure!' in that effected cutesy spoiled brat voice and his stupid shorts, "I hate that bastard." Pooh had waited all afternoon for Christopher Robin to come around humming a little tuneless song to himself while gazing blankly into the fire and fondling the oaken handle of the axe. WHen Christopher Robin finally showed up with his squeaking child actor voice, "Come on Pooh open up!" Pooh answered the door normal as anything, talked about the weather and then went to the cupboard and fetched the axe. While C.R. had sat there, prattling on about what a silly bear Pooh was and how he had very little brain (which wound Pooh up no end) Pooh had raised the axe high and brought it down with a satisfying thud on Christopher Robin's skull, cleaving it virtually in two, with just some muscle fibre in place to keep the pieces upright, and freezing C.R's eyes wide in horror that Pooh, lovable Pooh, could do such a thing! Pooh giggled a little and wiped some saliva from his mouth with a shaky paw. Then Pooh, calm as anything, had mopped up the blood, washed the axe and begun to dig the hole.

Piglet had wondered why Pooh had not called for him that morning, to have his tea and biscuits, and so he decided to visit Pooh instead. He admired the evening sun, blood red, and listened to the birds singing. Pooh watched him get nearer and nearer, and plugged in the drill.

Piglet had no time to realise what had happened - the drill pierced his skull, sending a beautiful fountain of blood all over Pooh's orange hide. He rubbed the blood in and all over himself, licking, licking, always licking. Then he pulled Piglet inside and put him in the cupboard. The syringe lay on the sideboard, and Pooh picked it up, paws shaking and sweating, and filled it full of solution of the funny white powder that had been given to him by a strangely spaced-out Rabbit. It was a strange effect at first, and Pooh thought he had seen many strange things, but then experienced a euphoric feeling of power. It made him irritable, and C.R. and Piglet had everything that was coming to them, no doubt at all. When night had fully fallen, Pooh dragged the bodies out and buried them in a makeshift grave.
"Still time to get that little dick-head Roo before he wakes up."

Pooh sneaked to the sleeping form of Roo's mum and saw Roo's ear poking out of her pouch.

"Now I've got you, you little git", Pooh thought, smiling, as he threaded a needle with extra strong cotton. He was jolly grateful for Piglet's sewing lessons now, because he would be able to sew up Roo nice and tightly, so he would not be able to get out and his mum would not be able to rescue him. So very slowly and carefully Pooh began to sew Roo into his pouch and thereby suffocating the annoying idiotic twit. After the deed was done Pooh made his way back to his house wondering how Roo's mum would take the death of Roo. Badly, hoped Pooh, as he began to cough uncontrollably and felt general nausea overcome him.

By the time Pooh got home he had puked up several times and was very desperate for some more of the white solution. He trembled as he picked up the syringe and gave himself the remaining amount. An awfully large amount, one might say, for a small little bear like Pooh. In fact too much, Pooh died of an overdose, but he died with a smile on his face: he was dreaming that he was the only teddy bear made with a willy and dreamed how he surprised Eeyore one day - but that's a story for another day.

Yeah, Kindergarteners look cute, but never turn your back or.....

I'm currently working with a classroom of kindergarteners on their reading. This is something I have to do because of my Elementary Education major, but I enjoy doing this... Well.... I was sitting in one of those "Little People" Chairs when I see this little kid walking around with a baton in his hands. It looked odd, but I didn't really think all that much about it, kindergarteners always twirl batons, don't they? Anyways, all of a sudden I feel this sharp pain in my back... The little jerk hit me! He freaking nailed me in the back with that damn baton! I turned around to look at the little ass-wipe who hit me, and he looks at me with a big smile while he was walking away saying, "soooorrrry", what it actually translated into was "I'll be seeing you next Thursday....You better watch your back...beeeooootch!"

Honestly now, I'm not sure i'll make it out alive! I'm kinda scared. I might need a restraining order.

Rant #327,508

Ok,

After being away from the *fun blogging* for a bit, I thought I would talk about all of the things that have happened to me in the past couple of weeks.

Rant #327,508

Why on earth do the male species think that they have to hoot and holler to get a girl to like them? Here's why I am pissed about this: I'm at wal-mart the other day buying 'girly necessities' and i'm tired, i've been working all night long and all I really want to do is get out of there. I take my purchases and i'm headed out the door. As I get out into the "lobby"-where all the carts are parked- I see this man and woman walking into wal-mart. I keep walking and then all of a sudden the man turns around and yells and I quote, "WOOOOoooo I'd like to get a piece of that shit!" (I was mortified...everything in the lobby echoes and all eyes were on me.)

Excuse me...What? Now honestly, do you really think that verbally molesting me is going to get me to turn around and say, " Alright then have at it!" No. I really wanted to knock him out with the box of tampons I was carrying and give him the following pieces of advice:

1. You're wearing a truckers hat, because you're a trucker sir. Do not yell obscene things at me. (I love truckers, my father happens to be one. I just don't like being yelled at and disrespected by one.)
   
2. You have on velcro shoes. Not that there's anything wrong with velcro shoes, but again you want a piece of this S*&%!
3. You're missing teeth, and are wearing glasses that are taped on one side. Again this isn't helping your "game".
4. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
   
5. And finally don't talk with your mouth open.
   

I really don't understand the logic of catcalls... It pisses me off and i'm liable to go off the handle.

I Hope There Are Guitars In Heaven

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
--Revelation 21:4













For the past two weeks I've been dazed. I don't really even know how to begin this entry, so i'll begin here. Uncle Daddy. Uncle Daddy..... I gave him that name 20 years ago. I woke up at five in the morning to talking.. My mom, my late grandmother, and my "dad". I was talking to him, looking for candy in his pockets..the usual greeting for my dad when he came home from the road. Another comes in that morning.... my "dad". I was confused. It turned out that the first person there that night was my Uncle. My dad's twin. It was the first time I had seen him. I thought he was my dad. So after a while my dad asked me who he was and stated, "daddy." Then he pointed to my uncle and asked who he was... I said, "Uncle Daddy." Its been with him ever since. Just a week and a half ago I had to relive that story at his funeral. The absolute heart break I feel is simply unbearable. Never did I think that I'd be without him. To me my dad and my uncle daddy have been invincible. To see a man of his stature fall...there are no words. I remember the day that he died. He was talking to me about a time when he came down from Alaska and I had him digging in my toy box for a certain toy....That toy happened to be at the bottom of the box. I can remember him telling me that story a lot through out all the stories he's told me, and going through his pictures (I found the one to the right) of the very story he was telling me.

He went through so much pain and struggles thoughout his life, and he kept on going. Even to the very end. We watched gunsmoke the day he passed away- he had to have it on because thats what he did on Sundays. So we watched gunsmoke and talked about the past. That day he was put on oxygen and started to feel a lot better. I thought everything was going to be ok. He started feeling better and things started looking up. I left to go and find a game that he enjoyed playing and was in such a daze when I left that I didnt say goodbye. I thought that he was asleep in my room when I left. Later on my sister said he was wide awake. Did he wait for me to come to say goodbye too? That is something i'll never find out. I just left and I'll never get the chance to say goodbye. I'll never ever forgive myself. How could I just leave without saying goodbye, kissing him on the forehead---anything? I will regret this for the rest of my life. I loved him with all of my heart, and I know that he knew I loved him as well. It's just the pain that won't go away. Everytime I see his pictures, his wooden jewelry boxes he made me, his shirts that are still hanging in my closet. Sometimes I walk into my room and open my closet because I can still smell his shirts. Everything reminds me of him.

My dad gave a great speech at the funeral. I know that he's hurting. He told me that he feels that half of him has been ripped away. I can never say that I understand what he's going through. I am just here for backup. I know that everything reminds him of Uncle Daddy. Looking in the mirror would be a reminder in itself. I guess all I really want to get across is how much life is taken for granted. People aren't always going to be there. People fade away. Just make sure that they know that you love them and that you always tell your family that you love them and goodbye. I'll never get that chance again. He had a heart of gold, and would have literally given you the shirt off his back.

So here's to Uncle Daddy--- May there be guitars in heaven. I love you.

Please look down on us.

This is cute!

Alright everyone.. I'm taking this idea from Lindsay's Blog, who took it from- Erika's Blog. It's really cute so please play along!

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often or don't know each other) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you!

Post away - and be creative! (from girl fiend)

I've been gone a time. For those of you who know me, and haven't heard yet, my Uncle Daddy passed away on Sunday. As soon as I can do him justice by sitting down for a bit, i'll write up a great entry for him. For now this will have to do. Thank you for all of your prayers and thoughts.

Lions, and Tigers, and Bras... OH MY!

So it's been a fun day, I fell asleep in reading again. I fell asleep in a chair outside a class while I was reading my book. The day just got progressively worse. I went home and found my dad and my uncle daddy at home. Uncle daddy was just recently released from the hospital and will be staying with us. I'm very happy he's out of the hospital and that's not why I say my day has gotten worse, because seeing dad and uncle daddy made the beginning part of my day seem to fade. My Uncle Daddy is very very sick. I would appreciate all the faith and prayers you can spare.


On a funnier, slightly weird note... I had to buy gasoline at a rapid roberts tonight and as I walked in to pay the lady behind the counter, she commented on my attire. First let me explain to you what I was wearing. I had on jeans a long shirt with lace at the top and bottom and one of those half jean jackets that looks like it should be for a busty four year old. I walk in and the lady says,

"What happened to your jacket?!"
"I have a hard time figuring out the washing machine."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"It came like that didn't it?"
"Yes ma'am I bought it this way."
"I thought so, You know what I hate to buy?"
"No, what?"
"BRASSIERES! My husband and I went shopping for brassieres the other day and he brought me a double E and I told him I'm walking out and i'll never wear a bra again. Then my daughter let me know that they had an aisle with brassieres that were only 2.50 each. So I bought three."

Ladies and Gentlemen....I didn't know anything about this woman when I walked in to purchase my gasoline, now I know what types of brassieres she prefers, and her cup size.

God Bless America.

I wanna know...Have you ever seeen the rain..

Well I successfully completed my first two days at school and let me tell ya, its everything I remember it being... Weather is freezing, Backpack is breaking my back, My shoe rubbed a blister on my heel, and I fell asleep in my reading class! I love it, I love it, I love it!

So I go into my 3rd class of the day--a General Education Program that you are required to take before you graduate. The teacher walks in, in a frumpy black shirt, and black skirt, and black tights, and black shoes....Glasses...The whole nine yards. I'm thinkin great, I've got one of 'Those' teachers. You know the ones where they're frowning the whole time and they're pissed that they had to even come into a classroom because they'd rather be at home with their 15 cats watching reruns of "Dark Shadows"(old vampire series). I'm already dreading the class, and i'm not even sure what this class is about. I take out my Ipod and start flippin through songs, when I hear Credence Clearwater Revival start blaring...I look up and frump had turned on the music. I look around and hear someone saying, "The class cant be too bad if she's starting off with CCR." I agree. The music was used to get us into that 60's feel when the Vietnam war was going on.

Turns out i'm taking combat memoirs I'm freakin stoked. I love to talk about the wars, my father served two tours of Vietnam with the army. He was a drill sergeant and military police. I'm so freakin proud of my dad, and my uncle daddy-(his twin) they both served. For my final project in the class i'm interviewing them so they can go on the record with their experiences. The final draft will be sent to the Library of Congress so that my great great grandchildren can check it out and see how fantastic these men are, and why they should be so proud to be alive and living in the United States of America. So many of these stories go unmentioned and no one really knows what went on the effects of war still linger on my father, and they're feelings and visions that will never leave him.

Seafood Cakes and Wine Mustaches

So Colby and I came back from our binge eating bonanza! It was great. I had Honey Rosemary Chicken with pasta in a nice red wine marinara sauce, and Colbin had Manicotti with a white wine based white sauce, and a red wine based marinara sauce with chicken. It was a cute little restaurant. Colby had red wine...blah I only like the wine where its sooo soo sweet. First sip and hello i'm drunk. Colby loves to drink the nice pinot noir and such, the kind that burns your insides on the way down.

Moscato Allegro...now thats a good wine-definitely try it with chocolate its FANTASTIC! You can't buy it at your wal-mart discount stores, you'll have to go to the international wine center---its fairly inexpensive..

Mmmmm Diets

Colb and I are going balls to the wall and we're starting a diet tomorrow! Except tonight we're going to PIG OUT! We're going to J Parrino's an Italian restaurant here in the city. I'm stoked, and i'm starving. Colb's in the bathroom primping while i'm sitting in my jeans and tank top that I put on this morning bright and early.

We just got back in town, we've been in Kansas City this weekend hangin out with his family. We had a great time and I probably gained 12 pounds during that great time. ;) I love home cooked meals! I wish I could have home cooked meals all the time, but since I live out of my car and haven't mastered cooking off the radiator yet I have to do the drive-thru thing....

Anyways, we've started a weight loss program at work and we have to weigh in at the beginning of every week. I've decided since i've weighed in this past Saturday that I can eat what I want tonight and then be a very dedicated dieter tomorrow. Lets hope this works out.

Oh Baby

So on Thursday I took my sister, Stori, to her first doctor visit reguarding her pregnancy. It was the most amazing thing i've ever seen/heard. I'm very excited to be a part of the entire experience, my very first nephew/niece. We went in and first things first, how far along are you? She ended up being about 10 weeks along. That is an early time to hear a heartbeat, but he decided that since she was so skinny he'd try to hear it anyways. He put the monitor on her belly and low and behold--there it was just as fast and as strong as it could be.

We then went to her first ultrasound and saw the little peanut. It was absolutely the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. You could see baby fingers, and toes, a nose, little arms and legs. I was absolutely awe stuck, I'm gonna just say it a tear came to my eyes.

Here I am watching my baby sister having her first baby ultrasound. Its very odd to think that she could be possibly growing a little penis inside her....hehe

(my boyfriend is the coolest)*thank you colbin. He temporarily took over the keyboard.

YAY BABIES! I'm gonna be the coolest auntie ever!!

Blah!

Schools about to begin, and i'm just not ready for it. Usually I have all of my books gathered and spread out nice and neat on my bed with all of my stuff like pencils...Everyone needs pencils. I, however, have not bought any of the things that you need for school. No books. No paper, no pencils. I'm not looking forward to my classes and I'm not finished with my "vacation" yet.

Sleeping in really gets to me when I get to do it for an extended period of time. I LOVE to sleep. Colby was talking about sleep yesterday and was saying how we spend half of our lives lying on our backs....*I prefer my side, but ehh. Anyways, he was really philosophical about it all. He had been drinking a little, and it was around 1:15ish but he really seemed upset about it all. I still love to sleep--very peaceful--I'm sleepy right now.