It has been a very stressful week/day and it's only Tuesday. I called home today to find out how everything was going and talked to my dad for about ten minutes. He was still in bed, but contemplating getting up. I told him he needed to get up because it was such a nice day and with this Missouri weather we're having who knows when it could start pouring. He told me that he would and that was the end of our conversation.
Later on I received a call from my mom, about our computer, and how dad couldn't find something on it. I told them where I thought it was, and then later called them back. My dad had a "little" nervous breakdown and I'm not really sure why.....Was it the computer, was it life....Only he knows. It's really hard to see him going through all of this. I feel sometimes like I'm having to be a parent to him, and it's so overwhelming. I'm so worried about him, will he ever get out of this hole that he's sitting in? I love my dad more than life itself, and I love my mom for sticking with him every step of the way. I have the best family in the whole wide world, I just wish we could go back to how we were. Dad always working or messing with something around the house, Mom always running back and forth between house stuff, yard work, fish pond, dogs... Stori and I coming in and out of the house. Everyone was happy. It seems like anymore all the phone calls made are consisting of, "How's dad? Is it a good day or a bad day?"
Lately they've been bad days. More bad...Less good. I know that we have angels watching over us, I definitely believe in guardian angels. I'm asking right now for mine to watch over my dad, because he needs it more than I do. I just want him better so bad. I want my old dad, the one who's always joking, always smiling, always eating ice cream.....I need him to come back, because it's sad without him.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
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