Life After Breakup

I was talking a best friend through a break up this week and she was absolutely broken, I didn't know what to say to her to help her. I was wondering why it was that nothing helped, because I've been in a similar situation before.

Why is it so hard to move on? I realize the given, you were in love, or you were with someone for a long time and its a routine now...What do you do with your life after breakup? It's so easy for someone to say to you that they would move on, or forget about that person. But I know for a fact that what we say and what we do are two totally different songs.

You can never really know until you're in it, and sometimes when you're in something that you said you'd leave, you won't leave because essentially you're not really seeing the relationship from the outside. People find it so easy to throw in their two cents, *I've heard it all before- "It's easy to see when you're on the outside looking in, but when you're inside you tend to see what you want."

Why is it that *most girls seem to just grieve and grieve until they're absolutely making themselves sick? I've done it, I'm sure some of you have. You can't eat, can't sleep, are walking around like you've lost everything you have. Why do we waste so much time crying? Men seem to be very good at hiding their feelings, when they're young that's what we instill. Big boys don't cry. -So they don't.

I realize this is a big rambling- I've had a long day at work, and I'm sleepy, but I had a lot of time to think about it. My dad always gives such great advice he would tell me, "Char-Marie, take it from a guy who's been there, done that." I never would, I guess I like to learn the hard way. We never want advice unless its what we want to hear, when I say we I mean...Me, and maybe a few of you reading this.

I'm not sure where this post is going, so I'm going to go to bed and think about this some more. I'll get back to this later.

It's a Nice Day for a White Wedding.

This weekend we traveled down to Eureka Springs, Arkansas to get my little sister, Stori, Hitched!

No seriously we really got her hitched. We went to this old time place and dressed up like people that worked in a saloon. I looked like a Class A hooker. I'll post pictures when I get them developed, in the mean time I'll just describe my outfit:

I had on all the essentials:

• White bloomers with lace trim...Check!
• Fishnet Stockings.....Check!
• Black High Heels........Check!
• Corset.........Check!
• A push up brassiere tied so tight around me I couldn't breathe....Check...!

It really was a blast, we had so much fun. I had my picture taken with Colby as well, I'll post that as soon as I can.

So?

Ok, I got creative and tried my hand at creating my own template. The only thing I hate is the size of the font. Its way too big. I cannot seem to find it in the html to change it, so until then it shall remain very large...bleh!

I would like comments on what needs to be changed, or what looks good.

Thanks!

*&%$#@%

I am absolutely drained. I know I say this a lot, but I'll say it again.... I REALLY DISLIKE MY JOB! The problem is right now I cannot quit because they have allowed me the time I need off for this summer: Weddings, Graduations, Baby Showers, Wedding Showers, Baby Deliveries, etc... As soon as I can I'll be searching for a better job. One that's less stressful. For those of you who don't know I work at Wal-mart. It's pretty much a sweatshop. I'm so aggravated, because I do my job I am constantly taken from one area to the next and it is so frustrating for someone who likes to get one thing done before she starts another. At the end of the night I end up having 30 'irons in the fire'.

I am physically drained. Emotionally drained. I told my manager, the one that is nice to me, that I was tired of working my ass off to be taken advantage of. He agreed with me because he sees that we're *Hollie and I* are being shit on.

I hate the fact that I get so pissed, I hate that I can't be respected for the good work that I do, I really hate the fact that I get aggravated enough to let it come home with me. It's not like me to be on edge because of a job. I'm going to take the initiative and look elsewhere even if it means a pay cut.

Plans

Last night Colby and I were talking about the Peace Corps again and decided we'll have to sign up within the next month. I'm stoked. I'm really excited about all the things that we have lined up for our lives. We've been discussing all the possibilities:

1. Join the Peace Corps and teach for two years in a foreign country.
2. Go to grad school. Prospectives right now are Washington University in St. Louis, or KU in Lawrence, KS.
3. Living under a park bench in Central Park.

All great choices if you ask me.

Bleh.

Ehh... I went to bed last night at 11:00 and I woke up this morning at 11:00. I'm coming down with something, its a chest cold or something. WHY?! I have so much to do that I cannot afford to be sick! My sister is getting married this weekend, and I CANNOT get sick! I feel sick in the morning and I feel sick in the evening. When I'm up and around during the daytime its not that bad. Blah.

I woke up this morning to Colby's call, good thing because I have to be at work at 1:00. I got up and got some leftover cold pizza out of the fridge, then sat on the couch and watched rat race. I love that movie it makes me laugh. Laughing hurts right now. eck.

They even had rubber stamps!!

So, grades come out tomorrow and I'm excited to see what I've got. I know it'll be good, not the 4.0 I had hoped for, but I know I'll make the Dean's List. What happened to me?

Colby and I traveled North towards KC to see his parents and brother. Jacob, Colb's brother, graduated this weekend! YAY JACOB! We were discussing the fact that next year we'll be the one's graduating....Again. I'm absolutely excited to start our lives. I feel right now that I'm just on a routine schedule that has me doing the same things day in and day out.

I'm so excited about having my own classroom! I'm collecting books for my library as we speak. If anyone has any children's books to donate---Send them my way! ;) Thanks. I walked into a educational supply store a few days ago and was amazed. I went straight to the back where all the stickers, books, HALL PASSES (I can't wait to have a hall pass!), markers, those border thingys that you put around your bulletin boards---THOUSANDS OF BORDERS! I asked Colby if when we get engaged if we could register there. He shot that idea down, but it was worth a try. I feel like I'm thinking more and more like a teacher every day. I see cute little artsy things and wonder how I could use that in the near future.


I'm stoked!

Truth or Fiction: Men Turn Into Werewolves On A Full Moon?

I need some input on this subject ladies, and gents... Do you think moods change when it's nearing a full moon? Think back, the thirteenth was a full moon. Did you, or your significant other have mood swings on the 11th - ?? This mood swing doesn't have to be relationship altering, but enough to notice something wasn't quite right.

The reason I'm asking is that I have a good friend who tends to have 'boyfriend issues' right before the full moon. It may sound silly, but it's sort of erie. Things tend to happen right before we're about to have a full moon. You can definitely notice it at wal-mart, customers tend to be on edge, and the slightest thing can throw them off. You always hear that a hospital is in full swing when its a full moon...

In this case my friend's boyfriend tends to go into this weird funk right before the full moon and it lasts a little afterwards. Now this may be numerous things, but we were just thinking about what it could be and a lady at work said a full moon is out. She finished by saying that her boyfriend or husband was in a funk as well. My friend then noticed that her father, and her brother were in bad moods. We started rolling this thought around and I thought I'd blog about it and see if I could get any comments on what people thought.

Do men, or anyone for that matter, turn into werewolves when there's a full moon?

My 100th Post.

My kid sister, Stori, came to see me today before my finals. She was shopping here in Springfield, and wanted to show me things she had picked up. A baby mattress for the crib, maternity clothing- because she's finally getting too big for my clothes..And she's 7 months pregnant. She broke down and bought something Winnie the Pooh: Socks.

I'm extremely excited to see baby Maggie Marie, or Mag Pie as I like to call her. My sister is getting married next weekend. As soon as she gets married her husband, Kyle, is being shipped to Ft. Benning, GA for boot camp with the Army Rangers. I have been dubbed person who is in the delivery room, and I'm stoked. Be prepared for tons of pictures of Little Miss Mag Pie.

I'll be the one doing late night runs this summer for Ice Cream and Pickles.
Would you look at that belly button....

Finally

FINALS ARE OVER!!! I couldn't run to my car fast enough. I was afraid I would run into someone who would drag me into one of the buildings and make me write papers on How the west was won, or something to that effect. I'm stoked, first order of business.... SELL BACK MY BOOKS (for a fraction of the cost.)


Update: (May 17, 2006) I've sold back my books it was definitely a fraction of the cost. It cost me 350.00 for my books this semester, and I got a measly 58.00 back. I guess its $58.00 I didn't have, can't complain too much.

PB&J

Mmm. It seems to me that I mainly blog about food....well....Thats because I enjoy it SO much! I just had my brain food: Peanut Butter and Jelly. I also had a nice cold glass of red diamond sweet tea. Does the body good. I'm getting ready to take the last two finals of the semester! I'm so stoked. SUMMER HERE I COME!

Summer Summer Time.

Well, I finished the final I was really worried about today. It was a breeze. I'm so excited for summer time, I can't even think of all the things I want to do. I'll buy some TV season to watch. Not sure what I'll buy though. Colby and I started watching Lost and I loved it, we're waiting for the second season to come out. I thought about buying either House, or Six Feet Under. Maybe I'll buy both.

I have so many things on the schedule for this summer. Colby's brother Jacob graduates next weekend! We'll be there for that. Then memorial day weekend my little sister is getting married! I feel SO old! The weekend after that she's having a reception. I have a friends wedding I'm in. I have to have Stori a baby shower, and I'm going to rockfest in June. This, I'm afraid, leaves little time for me to read the 50 books that I have lined up. So much to do. So little time.

Pancakes.

This morning I woke up and made pancakes for Colby and I. This brings back a very fond memory of mine.

When I was younger, my best friend Lindsay and I were always trying different things like

1. Inventing new shampoo using various household materials, then using my little sister as the test subject.
2. Messing around with her chemistry set, and almost killing the whole town with our "lead water."
3. When her little brother was on the way, we decided we would create him a state of the art carseat. For this we used: an old car seat, a handle bar from a bicycle for the safety restraint, and some old rope to keep it in place.....Do not try this at home.
4. We also tried out an old bottle warmer, convinced that it would work and sat in the car for hours waiting for the milk to warm up. It warmed up, just not like we planned. Its a wonder we didn't short out something and catch the van on fire. Her mom was not pleased with this one.
5. One night we wanted to stay up all night long so we decided to grind our own coffee... Without a coffee grinder, and no coffee beans. I think we ended up making something else that tasted awful!

But this is the story that the pancakes bring me back to. We woke up very early one morning with a fantastic idea. "Let's not wake up your parents, and lets make breakfast for everyone!" We decided on pancakes, I think we were in fourth grade...not sure. Anyways, we started making the pancakes, then all of a sudden one smoke alarm went off...Followed by another...And another.. *How many smoke detectors did you have Linz? We were running to each one and fanning with pot holders. One would go off and we'd run to the other, then that one would go off and the other would come back on. This went on for what seemed like forever. Her mom ran downstairs only to inform us that the pan was now on fire. How we caught the pan on fire, I'll never know.

This is not how I made pancakes this morning. Everything went smooth. Until Colby tried to see if I was doing a good job. He wanted to see if the pancake was ready, so he flipped it. He flipped it like you see in movies and it landed on the counter. Who's the cook now?

Books.

I'll have to admit that yesterday while sitting in Barnes and Noble sipping my cinnamon dolche latte, doing homework, I stereotyped someone. I know that you should really try not to do that, and I really try not to.... Here's the story

I was sitting in Barnes and Noble, like I said, and watching people...because that's what I do. I think you can learn a lot about people by what they're reading. *I was working on lesson plans reading Three Little Pigs. What does that say about me? I looked up and saw a man with motorcycle clothing and thought, he is probably reading about cars or motorcycles....I was right. Then I was looking at a young girl, she was drinking coffee, wearing all black and dark makeup...My thoughts were she's probably reading 1. A romance novel, or 2. A book about dracula. She was reading a romance novel. So I thought, hey, I could do this all day long!

I then see an Amish man walking towards me, I think to myself....I bet he's reading something about construction. WRONG! I look up and he has a huge stack of books and the top title was, "Big Book of Dirty Jokes." I'm not going to play that game anymore.

I felt like a horrible person, but I laughed a little inside thinking of all the men working outside, and this particular man throwing out all these dirty jokes. :)

Cheetos Make the World Go Round

I finally.....FINALLY finished all the things that are due today. I was up until about 3:00 a.m working on my project for my health class. I figured it would take a whopping hour, HA, 5 hours later I'm lying on the floor despising my health class. I am stressed to the MAX! Every teacher has piled something on at the last minute and I'm drowning in papers.

Last night Colby helped me SO much! Have I mentioned that he's wicked cool? He hates seeing me stressed out, and when I stress out I cry. I was so tired, and on top of everything else... If you looked at me wrong I started to cry. The gluestick broke, I shed a tear. How sad.

All I have now is study study study....I'm down to 3 more classes for finals and I'm OUT!

I'm currently finding comfort in cheetos....Yes, I know they're not on the "diet", but they're on My Diet. Just until finals are over, then I'm putting myself back in check. Until now, cheetos and french onion dip have my love.

I Knew We Needed Rain, But....For The LOVE!

Man....

I was startled awake last night around 1:30ish by a HUGE clap of thunder! I love thunderstorms, but this one was so loud! I thought the apartment building was coming down. By morning the rain had ceased, and I woke up to study a little before class, then I left for my final in my Special Education class. I think I did pretty well.

By the time I got out of the final it looked as if it were going to rain down from the heavens again, but I had my umbrella handy. I went and turned in my books, and got a whopping $20.00 for a book that cost me about $70.00. In came the monsoon! It was raining so hard you could barely see anything. I was driving along and had to go turn in some late books that cost me oh....$30.00 *The University is making a FORTUNE on late fees!!!! Definitely off of people like me who happen to forget everything...and books, movies, anything that needs to be back by a certain date are always at least a week if not more...late.

So I jumped out of my car with my trusty umbrella and headed towards the library. The wind was so hard it flipped my umbrella inside out and needless to say, I was absolutely soaked. As soon as I got back to my car, the rain had stopped again and now its sunny....Go figure.

Damn Missouri weather.

I NEED COLOR!

Fellow Bloggers/Readers,


My blog is in desperate need of a face lift. I'm not up on html...well just a little. I want something Fun, Flirty, Spicy, Girly. I'm so bored with the templates. If anyone is listening and would be so kind to walk me through changing it, or if you get bored you could just work something up. I would be so thankful.

Thank you

Char-Marie

Diet, What diet?

Ah yes, I thought I would make lunch today for Colby and I. I'm actually getting better with the time management thing, and I'm proud of it. It does help when the bag you're cooking from tells you exactly what time to take your frozen delights out of the oven.

Diet?.....Diet you say, well we fell off the wagon and are rolling down a very steep, very rocky hill right now. Here's the deal, as soon as I can breathe again from finals being taken care of, I'm going back to the gym. Scouts honor.

I took this picture while I was making lunch, Colby just looked at me and I had a feeling he was wondering what the hell I was doing, so I replied, "Honey, the public have a right to know that we're sticking to our diet." He says, "But we're not." I reply, "Exactly." How very sad this is, but it was so GOOD!

Without Further Adieu..

Today is the day that I kick my homework in the ass! I'm going to work my lil' butt off until I have most of it accomplished. I admit that last night I thought I needed a break so I went to the Fox and shot pool. I'm actually getting FREAKIN Awesome at it. I'm still procrastinating ... Should be doing homework, Colby just informed me. I'm very very ready for finals to be done!

Today's list to get done:

1. Finish the report on the interview with my dad.
2. Write up three lesson plans
3. Make a trifold presentation for my 'health for educators' class.
4. Finish the children's book- Island of the Blue Dolphins, and write a report on it.
5. Finish The Devil's Arithmetic and write a report on it.
6. Study for my final on Wednesday.

And much more, but if I continue to write them down I'll get overwhelmed and puke.

Talk About Baggage.

So today I was making out a list of all the things I need to get accomplished for this week to turn in, I didn't realize that I had SO much to do!! I'm pulling hair out over here! I just have to count to ten and breathe, because if I don't I'll probably explode, or maybe I'll implode...?

I was at work tonight and Hollie and I discovered some luggage that went on clearance. It was a four piece luggage set, and it was priced at 99.96 and it was now priced at 36.00. I couldn't pass it up, although I'm not going anywhere now, I will go places. I'm bound and determined. I told Colby he could take it with him to Hawaii this summer if only he promised to leave it out on the beach for a few days so when he got back I could sit next to it and smell Hawaii while sunning on his balcony. I'm sure we'll get some good use out of it.

I must be getting old if luggage excites me...

Spontaneity killed the cat.....

Happy Cinco De Mayo! Colb, Corey and I went to Cileto Lindo tonight and had Mexican food mmm...

Then we decided to get Corey's tattoo, the longer I sat there the longer I wanted to get an industrial piercing. I've always wanted one, but it was so expensive because its two piercings. Usually it cost 80 dollars to get it done, at Miller Cotton's it cost 40. SOLD! I got it done. As I was lying down so I could be skewered the last words he said before he stuck the huge needle through my ear was, "You're going to bleed like a stuck pig."


I did. I could feel the blood running down into my ear. Ahh the rush. ;)
I didn't even flinch...Is this normal?

Exhausted.

Today I give a presentation for my Dad's interview. Colby and I put together a movie, and although the audio doesn't match up with the picture during the end, it still works. I think it's a pretty good presentation. We've worked on it for three days and it's only 16 minutes long. I'm sleepy. I just got out of bed and always have to have my time where I sit and just chill before I decided to jump in the shower.


Corey's down from KC and is going to register today for classes down here. Colby, Jacob, and Corey are going to be living together so they've been trying to get that in order. Tonight we're going to my house to have grilled steak, and everything that comes with it. I'm already hungry.

Message For My Guardian Angel:

It has been a very stressful week/day and it's only Tuesday. I called home today to find out how everything was going and talked to my dad for about ten minutes. He was still in bed, but contemplating getting up. I told him he needed to get up because it was such a nice day and with this Missouri weather we're having who knows when it could start pouring. He told me that he would and that was the end of our conversation.

Later on I received a call from my mom, about our computer, and how dad couldn't find something on it. I told them where I thought it was, and then later called them back. My dad had a "little" nervous breakdown and I'm not really sure why.....Was it the computer, was it life....Only he knows. It's really hard to see him going through all of this. I feel sometimes like I'm having to be a parent to him, and it's so overwhelming. I'm so worried about him, will he ever get out of this hole that he's sitting in? I love my dad more than life itself, and I love my mom for sticking with him every step of the way. I have the best family in the whole wide world, I just wish we could go back to how we were. Dad always working or messing with something around the house, Mom always running back and forth between house stuff, yard work, fish pond, dogs... Stori and I coming in and out of the house. Everyone was happy. It seems like anymore all the phone calls made are consisting of, "How's dad? Is it a good day or a bad day?"

Lately they've been bad days. More bad...Less good. I know that we have angels watching over us, I definitely believe in guardian angels. I'm asking right now for mine to watch over my dad, because he needs it more than I do. I just want him better so bad. I want my old dad, the one who's always joking, always smiling, always eating ice cream.....I need him to come back, because it's sad without him.

Umm Hi....Hello......

So i'm sitting in a computer lab trying to get things done before class when this girl comes by and just about knocks me out of my chair! She just plowed her way through. EHHH! I wanted to throw my hands up and say, "Ummm Hello......Yeah Hi, I'm actually sitting at this computer, so could you please charge your way though that aisle." She about knocked the glasses off my face!


So yeah, i'm still procrastinating. I don't know how i'm going to get all the homework done, I work every day! Last night I had a minor melt down, but Colby was there to say we'd get it done. What a wicked cool boyfriend I have.