5 Months

Dear Emery Jack,

You are quickly approaching 5 months old *3 days away* so instead of waiting to write this on that day, I'm taking my opportunity now, while you're sleeping in your pack in play (which you've grown to tolerate during nap time.)

You are getting so big, it seems like just yesterday I was cradling you in my arms at the hospital, not really knowing what I was going to do with you once I got you home and there wasn't a nurse to say, "No, that's not how you do it." The first few days home with you were the best, and worst. Not worst because I didn't love you, let me be clear, there was an abundance of love, but something happens when you're no longer protecting a baby in the womb. You were now experiencing all the things outside in the world and I didn't think I could keep you safe like before- tons of emotions flowing those first few days. I cried for 2 weeks straight.

Now, we're back home with our family and you have changed tremendously! You've started smiling and laughing at the crazy sounds and faces your mom and dad make, you are enjoying car rides, where before I didn't know if we were going to make it out the door when I put you in your carseat- the SCREAMS! You babble now, which sounds more like growling and a few times I've caught myself laughing out loud at the hilarious faces you make when you're concentrating on something. You have a fantastic personality, you are a good combination of your mom and dad. Strong willed, High spirited, You wake up smiling every morning (I think you got that from your daddy). You're not that little ball of flesh that just laid there staring off anymore, you're a real live KID! Your dad and I joke about you being "all boy" you love boobs and fart noises, and not particularly in that order.

In the past month alone you've learned how to roll from your belly to back and you are getting REALLY good at it! I turn around for a second and you've rolled all over the living room floor. Sometimes you get stuck and show your disgust by giving a sharp yell, "HEY, OVER HEEEEERE!". You've also started reaching for us when you need help, which melts my heart.

A couple of days ago I caught you really getting into an episode of Sesame Street, you were leaned over your jumper with your eyes fixed on the screen and every once in a while you would let out a squeal and pull your feet up and let yourself bounce. I am in awe of you...

You're still sleeping with us and take up most of the bed, but we don't mind. In the middle of the night, or morning 3a.m-ish you've started reaching for your daddy and grabbing hold of his arm or fingers. Sometimes you lift your head up and get really close to my face and stare at me, I know this because I'm staring at you with one eye squinted so you don't really know I'm awake because it's 3 a.m and momma isn't a morning person.

There is absolutely so much to write about because you're learning something new every single day, and as tired as I am, I wouldn't change this for the world. I am so lucky to be able to spend these first months with you, and I know I'm going to be sad when it's back to work. I cannot wait to see what is in store these next few months.

I love you big as the world.

Love,

Mama